These stories begin with the Zurich company still in residence, but near the end of the regime. Mr. Balanchine had returned to NYC, and we were rehearsing for our American tour to Washington D.C. Rudolph Nureyev had choreographed a ballet called "MANFRED" to the Tchaikovsky Manfred Symphony, roughly the story of Byron. He was dancing the lead role, of course. This was a huge ballet and used everyone in the company. I was playing the piano from the orchestral score, not so easy, but I managed. Sometimes Rudi tended to over-choreograph the music....and once I told him that! He took it well, and just said he agreed with me. At times he got so caught up in the steps that he would forget to listen to the music....(at least, that was my analysis.) It was exciting and stimulating for the dancers to be in class with Rudi (not to mention rehearsals)...he was always very entertaining! I shall never forget that he always wore a woolen cap in class....he believed that was a deterrent against illness....to keep one's head warm! (I remembered this in later years...to always keep my head warm, and gloves on my hands outdoors.)
There were several other ballets being presented in Washington as well....one was a Dohnanyi Piano Concerto called "VARIATIONS ON A NURSERY RHYME" (on the theme of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"). That may sound simple, but the piece develops into a huge tour de force after a thunderous orchestral introduction followed by the 'Twinkle Twinkle' Theme played on the piano. The choreographer, (whose name escapes me at this moment) was Hungarian. Our Dutch conductor, Andre Presser, was going to be on the podium, for which I was grateful.
The night before we left on this trip (in Zurich) I had the most vivid dream.....in which Mr. B. died! I was so upset in the dream, and when I awoke, was crying. I told Chrissy (my roommate) about it, and she became very disturbed as well. However, we got ourselves ready and departed for the bus at the Opernhaus which was to transport us to the airport. Once there, I began to feel a bit better and tried not to think about that dream. I purchased a coffee and a magazine (still no cellphones) and sat down in the Swissair Terminal waiting area. The flight was very pleasant, (no bumps or sudden drops) and I became calm. We landed at JFK, where we were to be transported onto a bus for Washington D.C. However, upon deplaning, Chrissy and I saw the company's agent (Francis Francis) who rushed up to us...."Mr. B. is gone," he said....and I just gasped! The dream was accurate (this has happened many times to me....so now I no longer question them). Pat was sobbing, as was Chrissy, and I was in shock! How could this happen? As the reality of this horrible news set in, my mind was reeling. We still had to go to Washington and perform...(even though there was to be a candlelight ceremony at the State Theater for him, we would NOT be able to attend.
While on the bus many scenes of Mr. B drifted through my head....I was having trouble wrapping my mind around this horrible happening! So many people would be affected by this....the NYCB, the dancers, musicians and personnel in that organization....not to mention the ENTIRE BALLET WORLD!! I felt like I was living in a nightmare....one from which I would not awaken. I also thought it was too soon for Mr. B to be leaving all of us. And this made me unutterably sad. The entire thing was so surreal...I just could not accept it.
It seemed overwhelming to have to perform just now after what had happened. BUT, the show must go on! There wasn't a way out of that one! Not if you are a performer. It is a code I have lived by all my life
as well as my friends who are performers. Most people cannot even begin to understand this. I have performed with bronchitis and a 104 degree fever...and while playing, am NOT sick at all. Then afterwards, the illness returns. Very odd!
We arrived in Washington many hours later, and after checking into our hotel (can't recall if it was the HOLIDAY INN or the WATERGATE), went to eat dinner. Then I went to bed immediately, as I had an early morning orchestra rehearsal for the Dohnanyi piece. I was so tired from the traveling, jet lag, and grief, that there was no problem falling asleep.
I awoke the next morning with a heavy heart....as I recalled immediately what had transpired. My actions felt wooden....like sleepwalking! But I forced myself to attention, ate breakfast, and walked to the Kennedy Center Opera House. It helped to clear the cobwebs from my brain. Once there I began to practice the piano on which I would be performing in the pit. The orchestra had not yet arrived, but Andre (conductor) was present. He was in total disbelief, but both of us knew how to keep our feelings to ourselves. Others in the orchestra would not be able to identify with the level of grief we were experiencing. So when everyone was present, Andre made a short announcement about Mr. Balanchine, and then we began the rehearsal. I was able to concentrate fully on playing, for which I was grateful. After the orchestral rehearsal, I went upstairs to the ballet studio, to play for the first dance rehearsal. (Someone else had played class that day as I was busy with the orchestra. Thank goodness for small favors! I believe that a completely different pianist had been recruited from a school in Washington to play ALL classes, so I didn't have that particular duty.
Rudi walked into the studio and immediately came over to me and Christine to express his heartfelt sympathies. (He knew both of us quite well). I could see that he was very upset by the dreadful news....he was very fond of Mr. B and respected him so much. Our first rehearsal was MANFRED with Rudi. He was very low-key for the entire time....everyone was. The dancers were doing their very best, but no one felt much like dancing and I didn't feel like playing. But so what? You didn't get to just stop....not in this profession! The next rehearsal was the Dohnanyi piece, which went quite well actually. Pat was as quiet as I had ever seen her. She was struggling to keep herself together, as we all were.
After the rehearsal, I recall that Chrissy, Elise and I went out for lunch, and then returned to the hotel for a short nap. The first performance was that evening (not much time to recover from the overseas trip!) This was par for the course, due to financial considerations. Sponsors never wanted to pay more than was absolutely necessary! I still felt as though I were walking underwater, and prayed that feeling would disappear. I needed my wits about me to perform that Dohnanyi piece (very difficult for the piano soloist). I did manage to sleep for a short while, then got up to shower, dress and return to the theater. (When people ask me what ELSE I do on these tours, I just laugh. I see the theater, the piano, the hotel and a restaurant or two, and that is it!! No time for much unless we have a day off, which is rare! And often I sleep that day, order room service and watch TV! One day I would like to re-visit some of the cities in which I have performed, and be a real tourist!) Anyway I had a chance to warm up again on the Steinway, and then relax as much as possible in the orchestral lounge. My number was first on the program, for which I was thankful. Half-hour was called....(the first alert for the performance), and then 15 minutes was the next alert. At that point I re-entered the pit and sat down at the piano. I always feel better sitting AT the piano than anywhere else. One by one the orchestra members entered the pit, and finally the 5-minute warning bell was sounded. The players all tuned to the piano "A"....then Andre walked into the pit...the orchestra stood, he bowed, then gestured to me...and I bowed (as the soloist) and the audience applauded all of us. (Here I must say that this pit was visible from the audience....many are not.)
THEN...Pat walked on stage with a glass and a bottle of vodka!! (I had no idea she was going to make an appearance). She made a short speech of welcome, and then announced that GEORGE BALANCHINE, our beloved Artistic Director had passed, and she wanted to dedicate the evening's performance to him! At this point, reality set in (for me). And I burst into tears at the piano....(in full view of the audience.) I tried to get myself under control, but was having trouble. Andre looked at me and mouthed the words: "Are you OK?" I nodded and gestured for him to proceed. I dimly realized that the audience could see me sobbing! But I knew that the bombastic orchestral introduction was quite long...at least a minute...and I would be able to control my sobs by the end of it. I had to, that was all. And that is what happened. Somehow I became calm, and played the simple little tune of "TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR," followed by a huge tour de force of pianism and technical difficulty. It came off without a hitch, thank goodness. I just played my heart out and thought of nothing but the music! At the end of the performance there was a huge ovation for everyone. But when I walked onstage (at this point I could walk without assistance) there was thunderous applause, a standing ovation and catcalls! The orchestra also stood and applauded for me. I saw Rudi applauding for me in the wings, and Pat as well. I was very happy the performance had gone so well, and equally happy that it was over! It was a very emotional moment for everyone! I shall never forget it!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
ADVENTURES IN ZURICH WITH MR. BALANCHINE, PAT, AND DANCERS
Life in Zurich was very pleasant for me as well as the others, for the most part. We worked a great deal, but the schedule in a European Theater is usually quite congenial. There were times when Pat asked us to work longer hours than contracted, but in those instances people had a choice. Except for me...she usually needed me for rehearsals. I lived in a beautiful apartment in a town called THALWIL, about 10 miles from the Operahouse. The apartment was on the ground floor with a large yard (many flowers) so Chrissy's (Christine Redpath was my roommate), collie dog, Miss Julie, could run around freely. On the floor below (where the garage was located) there was another room that belonged to my apartment. I put my piano in that room, which was next door to the sauna and cold plunge. Chrissy and I made good use of that sauna! Now that was luxury. Fortunately, the lady who owned the house liked both dogs and music! There were three other apartments in this dwelling....and I do recall that one of my neighbors wasn't so fond of my piano playing in the early morning...but that didn't stop me. I did have the landlady's blessing! My good friends, Debbie and Jonas, lived close by in a lovely penthouse apartment (also in Thalwil) with a large deck that wrapped around their apartment. So between the both places, we had the best of both worlds!
I recall one of Mr. Balanchine's visits which turned into a nightmare! He wasn't feeling well (no one knew what was wrong). Pat and I were sitting with him in the theater for a stage rehearsal....he was between the two of us. The Operahouse stage manager dismissed the crew, as the rehearsal time was finished! (They were all very conscious of overtime, and clocks!). Mr. Balanchine became enraged....he stood up and yelled, "NO! NO! NOT YET FINISHED!!!" And then he slammed his fist on the table in front of us! His face turned purple, and I thought he would have a heart attack! Both Pat and I were very alarmed, and raced to the stage to ask everyone to please continue the rehearsal. Then we called Herr Direktor Dr. Drese who came immediately to the stage. He persuaded the crew to stay, saying he would pay the overtime. (That almost never happened, but obviously he did not wish to cause Mr. Balanchine to leave the theater.) So....the rehearsal continued. I should say here that Mr. B was not accustomed to having his rehearsals stopped or supervised. But this was a European theatre, and he did not have the same authority as he did in the NYCB. For the next several days, we all were walking on eggshells, fearing another outburst like that one. There were several more stage rehearsals, but all of them went very smoothly. Everyone was on their best behavior, including the stage crew. I remember breathing a sign of relief, after the first performance had finished, and all had gone well. Mr. Balanchine left for NYC....it was not long afterwards that he went into hospital. Even after that episode it didn't occur to me that Mr. B was mortal, and could become incapacitated, which is what happened. I had always thought of him as invincible and indestructible. But of course, no one is...and we were all to learn very soon that he would not last long!
Another episode I remember well concerned the ballet LIEBESLIEDER WALZER, before it was scheduled to premier in Zurich. Karin von Aroldingen came to stage the entire ballet, and she brought us all gifts....hats and scarves she had knitted herself! I had been put in charge of the music (by Mr. B himself)....the four (4) singers. That turned out to be a hornet's nest! Two of the singers (both men) were very below par...and I was having difficulty with them. I rehearsed them (playing the piano, and coaching the singing) every day. However, they were just really POOR, and I realized they would not be able to get through an entire performance, let alone many shows without mishap. (This was reminiscent of the Berlin filming singers.) So I went upstairs to the DIREKTION, and told them exactly that. I knew that the Opernhaus was trying to save money, and had obviously hired two less proficient singers (reflected in their pay scale). However, that was not going to work, said I. Mr. Balanchine had told me that if the singers were not topnotch, then he did not want the ballet presented, and on my recommendation would just cancel it! Well, that put the fear of God into them....and they agreed to hire two competent male singers! I couldn't believe they ever argued with me at all, but they did....until I delivered that ultimatum! So I was provided with a cast of four (4) good singers (with decent backups as well), who needed rehearsing, of course....that was my job. But at least I had the necessary components for decent musical performances! They did go splendidly, and were all well received by the audiences in Zurich....even better than in New York. Mr. Balanchine was very pleased, and frankly, I was relieved that the singers had performed so well. My duo-partner was Andre Presser, a Dutch musician and pianist who also conducted for the Zurich Ballet...as well as many other companies. I always enjoyed my concerto performances when he was wielding the baton. Together we performed on many gala programs in Europe: Monte Carlo, Madrid, Granada, Turin, and many other cities, including Washington D.C. (Unfortunately I recently learned that Andre had passed in April of this year...which saddened me a great deal. Andre was a heavy smoker, which may have contributed to his illness. We were good friends, and enjoyed our work and performances together. That is not always the case....some conductors are less congenial and competent than others.....one in Seattle comes to mind.)
I distinctly remember the first time I performed 'THE CONCERT' in Zurich....choreographed by Jerome (Jerry) Robbins. I rehearsed this ballet often in NYCB, but had never performed it there. My friend and colleague, Jerry ZIMMERMAN, was always the onstage pianist for that work. He was so perfect for the role, with his curly blonde hair, and taciturn demeanor. Jerry performed this ballet until the end of his life....which was over too soon, sadly. This was during the period of the AIDS epidemic, and no one knew what was happening. To continue: I was cast as the onstage pianist, and I remember Tommy Abbott coming to stage, rehearse and coach the ballet...Jerry would come later. (Tommy, by the way, was one of the originals in the film of WEST SIDE STORY. I didn't meet him until he came to the NYCB as Jerry's assistant.) This ballet is a 'must' for anyone's bucket list. I still laugh while watching it, and I have performed it many, many times. There is a great deal of acting involved for everyone, including the pianist. For example, there is a grand entrance for him or her, which includes an entire pantomime at the piano, before the ballet even begins! I had great fun playing the Chopin pieces, and interacting with the various dancer characters onstage! At the conclusion, the pianist becomes furious with everyone, and taking a butterfly net, chases all the dancers (who have since metamorphed into butterflies) around the stage, and then off. At which point, the curtain slams down with a bang! I wouldn't be able to perform the ballet now, simply because I can no longer run! In Zurich one reviewer wrote: "in the event Miss Chilgren should decide to stop concertizing, she definitely has a future in comedy!" I have to say, I loved that review!
While living in Zurich, I was asked to be Piano Soloist for the Basel Ballet Company, by the Director, Heinz SPOERLI, who actually was Swiss. (He is presently Director of the ZURICH COMPANY.) Of course, I requested permission from the Direktor of the Zurich Opernhaus, as well as Pat and Mr. Balanchine. They were all very obliging in this, as long as my performing schedules did not conflict. Since Basel was only an hour's drive from Zurich, I elected to drive each time, instead of taking the train. Most of the time I stayed with my good friend, Mandy Bennett (Amanda), although I could have opted for a hotel. Instead I asked for the per diem allowed for the hotel, and used the money for dinners with Mandy and our friend, Sheldon Schwartz. I became acquainted with many of the dancers, including Uko Gorter (who later came to Seattle to join PNB, and Susan, another dancer friend who later married Uko. They live in Seattle...and Uko often performs character roles with PNB). Another dancer, with whom I became friendly is Martin Schlepfer....who was an extremely gifted dancer. (He began as a figure skater, actually). Martin became Direktor of the Berner Ballet, and then later went to Dusseldorf. He has become a well-known choreographer in Europe, and earned many awards in that field. Anyway, Heinz choreographed many piano solo ballets....to music of Rachmaninoff (Preludes) and various Liszt Etudes. I was very busy there as well as in Zurich...but I really loved it all! The Basler Theatre was very modern, and had an exceptionally good canteen....one could order an excellent meal, (as in Zurich) for much less money than in a restaurant. American theaters do not offer this amenity....they could learn much from their European counterparts.
Speaking of canteens, I recall the day in the Zurich canteen, when the entire Opera Orchestra was present....many were members of the famed TONHALLE Orchestra of Zurich. A very friendly fellow sat down next to me and offered me a glass of wine! Since I was finished performing for the evening, I felt free to accept, as long as it wasn't too much. (I needed to drive home to Thalwil after performances). So I accepted his offer and we talked until the canteen closed! This was the first time I met Christian Florea, a fabulous Rumanian cellist, although of course, he no longer lived in Rumania. We became very good friends, duo-partners, and more, eventually. My adventures with Christian would fill a book, so I won't start on them here. However, that period of time was very interesting and musically stimulating for me. I learned a great deal of the cello/piano repertoire, entered cello-piano duo competitions, played many concerts with him, went on many concert tours in various parts of Europe as well. Our partnership was extensive, and we also appeared on several radio broadcasts. I loved all of this, as you might imagine. At one point, I brought Christian to America to teach and give master classes in one of the New York State Universities....where one of my good friends was chair of the music department. (I also was on the faculty of this University during the summer...and both Christian and I taught and presented duo-recitals.)
Just to backtrack a bit....there is one story which bears repeating: we were driving from Zurich to Florence, Italy for a group of concerts. At one of the borders we were stopped for many hours....the car was searched, and Christian was strip-searched thoroughly. Why? He was Rumanian, with no official passport...only asylum papers for Switzerland. He had fled his country while on tour with a string quartet at age 17....to escape the cruel dictator there. When he was 15 years old, his father was shot to death on a bus in front of his eyes, for being an activist! This was the world in which he had lived and been raised, about which I knew nothing. After several hours, we were released....and I recall Christian telling me that I was so fortunate to have an AMERICAN passport. I never forgot that! It is true....I was never searched, nor questioned because of that passport! I learned much on these excursions, and from him. Americans know nothing of what goes on in other countries, and some of the atrocities that occur. The sort of suspicion and distrust that is fostered in young people who have grown up in that atmosphere, is not to be believed. Christian distrusted almost every older person he met from Rumania, for example....and other countries with similar dictator type of governments. He was very explicit with me....that I should NEVER answer any questions about him from anyone. He did trust me....I was so naive about so much, and am sure that was evident. Unfortunately, I have lost touch with him, which happens in life all too often....although I have tried to find him, on Facebook, and other places, but to no avail. I think perhaps he lives in Spain now, and may be conducting....but other than that, I know nothing else. Perhaps one day I will locate him. I do hope so.
I recall one of Mr. Balanchine's visits which turned into a nightmare! He wasn't feeling well (no one knew what was wrong). Pat and I were sitting with him in the theater for a stage rehearsal....he was between the two of us. The Operahouse stage manager dismissed the crew, as the rehearsal time was finished! (They were all very conscious of overtime, and clocks!). Mr. Balanchine became enraged....he stood up and yelled, "NO! NO! NOT YET FINISHED!!!" And then he slammed his fist on the table in front of us! His face turned purple, and I thought he would have a heart attack! Both Pat and I were very alarmed, and raced to the stage to ask everyone to please continue the rehearsal. Then we called Herr Direktor Dr. Drese who came immediately to the stage. He persuaded the crew to stay, saying he would pay the overtime. (That almost never happened, but obviously he did not wish to cause Mr. Balanchine to leave the theater.) So....the rehearsal continued. I should say here that Mr. B was not accustomed to having his rehearsals stopped or supervised. But this was a European theatre, and he did not have the same authority as he did in the NYCB. For the next several days, we all were walking on eggshells, fearing another outburst like that one. There were several more stage rehearsals, but all of them went very smoothly. Everyone was on their best behavior, including the stage crew. I remember breathing a sign of relief, after the first performance had finished, and all had gone well. Mr. Balanchine left for NYC....it was not long afterwards that he went into hospital. Even after that episode it didn't occur to me that Mr. B was mortal, and could become incapacitated, which is what happened. I had always thought of him as invincible and indestructible. But of course, no one is...and we were all to learn very soon that he would not last long!
Another episode I remember well concerned the ballet LIEBESLIEDER WALZER, before it was scheduled to premier in Zurich. Karin von Aroldingen came to stage the entire ballet, and she brought us all gifts....hats and scarves she had knitted herself! I had been put in charge of the music (by Mr. B himself)....the four (4) singers. That turned out to be a hornet's nest! Two of the singers (both men) were very below par...and I was having difficulty with them. I rehearsed them (playing the piano, and coaching the singing) every day. However, they were just really POOR, and I realized they would not be able to get through an entire performance, let alone many shows without mishap. (This was reminiscent of the Berlin filming singers.) So I went upstairs to the DIREKTION, and told them exactly that. I knew that the Opernhaus was trying to save money, and had obviously hired two less proficient singers (reflected in their pay scale). However, that was not going to work, said I. Mr. Balanchine had told me that if the singers were not topnotch, then he did not want the ballet presented, and on my recommendation would just cancel it! Well, that put the fear of God into them....and they agreed to hire two competent male singers! I couldn't believe they ever argued with me at all, but they did....until I delivered that ultimatum! So I was provided with a cast of four (4) good singers (with decent backups as well), who needed rehearsing, of course....that was my job. But at least I had the necessary components for decent musical performances! They did go splendidly, and were all well received by the audiences in Zurich....even better than in New York. Mr. Balanchine was very pleased, and frankly, I was relieved that the singers had performed so well. My duo-partner was Andre Presser, a Dutch musician and pianist who also conducted for the Zurich Ballet...as well as many other companies. I always enjoyed my concerto performances when he was wielding the baton. Together we performed on many gala programs in Europe: Monte Carlo, Madrid, Granada, Turin, and many other cities, including Washington D.C. (Unfortunately I recently learned that Andre had passed in April of this year...which saddened me a great deal. Andre was a heavy smoker, which may have contributed to his illness. We were good friends, and enjoyed our work and performances together. That is not always the case....some conductors are less congenial and competent than others.....one in Seattle comes to mind.)
I distinctly remember the first time I performed 'THE CONCERT' in Zurich....choreographed by Jerome (Jerry) Robbins. I rehearsed this ballet often in NYCB, but had never performed it there. My friend and colleague, Jerry ZIMMERMAN, was always the onstage pianist for that work. He was so perfect for the role, with his curly blonde hair, and taciturn demeanor. Jerry performed this ballet until the end of his life....which was over too soon, sadly. This was during the period of the AIDS epidemic, and no one knew what was happening. To continue: I was cast as the onstage pianist, and I remember Tommy Abbott coming to stage, rehearse and coach the ballet...Jerry would come later. (Tommy, by the way, was one of the originals in the film of WEST SIDE STORY. I didn't meet him until he came to the NYCB as Jerry's assistant.) This ballet is a 'must' for anyone's bucket list. I still laugh while watching it, and I have performed it many, many times. There is a great deal of acting involved for everyone, including the pianist. For example, there is a grand entrance for him or her, which includes an entire pantomime at the piano, before the ballet even begins! I had great fun playing the Chopin pieces, and interacting with the various dancer characters onstage! At the conclusion, the pianist becomes furious with everyone, and taking a butterfly net, chases all the dancers (who have since metamorphed into butterflies) around the stage, and then off. At which point, the curtain slams down with a bang! I wouldn't be able to perform the ballet now, simply because I can no longer run! In Zurich one reviewer wrote: "in the event Miss Chilgren should decide to stop concertizing, she definitely has a future in comedy!" I have to say, I loved that review!
While living in Zurich, I was asked to be Piano Soloist for the Basel Ballet Company, by the Director, Heinz SPOERLI, who actually was Swiss. (He is presently Director of the ZURICH COMPANY.) Of course, I requested permission from the Direktor of the Zurich Opernhaus, as well as Pat and Mr. Balanchine. They were all very obliging in this, as long as my performing schedules did not conflict. Since Basel was only an hour's drive from Zurich, I elected to drive each time, instead of taking the train. Most of the time I stayed with my good friend, Mandy Bennett (Amanda), although I could have opted for a hotel. Instead I asked for the per diem allowed for the hotel, and used the money for dinners with Mandy and our friend, Sheldon Schwartz. I became acquainted with many of the dancers, including Uko Gorter (who later came to Seattle to join PNB, and Susan, another dancer friend who later married Uko. They live in Seattle...and Uko often performs character roles with PNB). Another dancer, with whom I became friendly is Martin Schlepfer....who was an extremely gifted dancer. (He began as a figure skater, actually). Martin became Direktor of the Berner Ballet, and then later went to Dusseldorf. He has become a well-known choreographer in Europe, and earned many awards in that field. Anyway, Heinz choreographed many piano solo ballets....to music of Rachmaninoff (Preludes) and various Liszt Etudes. I was very busy there as well as in Zurich...but I really loved it all! The Basler Theatre was very modern, and had an exceptionally good canteen....one could order an excellent meal, (as in Zurich) for much less money than in a restaurant. American theaters do not offer this amenity....they could learn much from their European counterparts.
Speaking of canteens, I recall the day in the Zurich canteen, when the entire Opera Orchestra was present....many were members of the famed TONHALLE Orchestra of Zurich. A very friendly fellow sat down next to me and offered me a glass of wine! Since I was finished performing for the evening, I felt free to accept, as long as it wasn't too much. (I needed to drive home to Thalwil after performances). So I accepted his offer and we talked until the canteen closed! This was the first time I met Christian Florea, a fabulous Rumanian cellist, although of course, he no longer lived in Rumania. We became very good friends, duo-partners, and more, eventually. My adventures with Christian would fill a book, so I won't start on them here. However, that period of time was very interesting and musically stimulating for me. I learned a great deal of the cello/piano repertoire, entered cello-piano duo competitions, played many concerts with him, went on many concert tours in various parts of Europe as well. Our partnership was extensive, and we also appeared on several radio broadcasts. I loved all of this, as you might imagine. At one point, I brought Christian to America to teach and give master classes in one of the New York State Universities....where one of my good friends was chair of the music department. (I also was on the faculty of this University during the summer...and both Christian and I taught and presented duo-recitals.)
Just to backtrack a bit....there is one story which bears repeating: we were driving from Zurich to Florence, Italy for a group of concerts. At one of the borders we were stopped for many hours....the car was searched, and Christian was strip-searched thoroughly. Why? He was Rumanian, with no official passport...only asylum papers for Switzerland. He had fled his country while on tour with a string quartet at age 17....to escape the cruel dictator there. When he was 15 years old, his father was shot to death on a bus in front of his eyes, for being an activist! This was the world in which he had lived and been raised, about which I knew nothing. After several hours, we were released....and I recall Christian telling me that I was so fortunate to have an AMERICAN passport. I never forgot that! It is true....I was never searched, nor questioned because of that passport! I learned much on these excursions, and from him. Americans know nothing of what goes on in other countries, and some of the atrocities that occur. The sort of suspicion and distrust that is fostered in young people who have grown up in that atmosphere, is not to be believed. Christian distrusted almost every older person he met from Rumania, for example....and other countries with similar dictator type of governments. He was very explicit with me....that I should NEVER answer any questions about him from anyone. He did trust me....I was so naive about so much, and am sure that was evident. Unfortunately, I have lost touch with him, which happens in life all too often....although I have tried to find him, on Facebook, and other places, but to no avail. I think perhaps he lives in Spain now, and may be conducting....but other than that, I know nothing else. Perhaps one day I will locate him. I do hope so.
Friday, May 30, 2014
DEPARTURE FROM NYC FOR SWITZERLAND
My departure from New York City took place after my trip to Europe, and hearing that VOICE in Venice. I spoke about my phone ringing in my apartment just as I entered it....it was Barbara Horgan, (Mr. Balanchine's assistant.) She told me the startling news that he wanted me to go to Geneva, and be piano soloist for that company. It was directed by Patricia Neary, (Colleen's older sister). I knew Colleen, but never had met Pat. Mr. B was the ARTISTIC DIRECTOR, and Pat was the Director...(meaning day to day). So although I had never been to Geneva, nor knew any of the people there, I WAS totally familiar with the work, of course. Pat had kindly arranged for me to stay with one of the dancers (Ellen was her name) until I could find a suitable apartment of my own. Barbara asked me to come to her office the next day to meet Pat (who was in town) and pick up my working visa and contract for the position. I did as she asked, and when I met Pat, thanked her profusely for arranging a place for me to stay temporarily. I also took the opportunity to pick up a few pieces of music from the music room (while there was no one there to question me!)
When I thought about Geneva, no picture came to my mind. (Not surprising, I dare say.) Actually I felt as though I was looking at a blank screen, or a brick wall. A very strange feeling. But I knew this was a definitive moment.... and there aren't too many of those in life. Although, I must say, this was one of many for me. A few days later, I left my NYC apartment (and Piano) with my friends, Marilee and Clorinda, who were doing their level best to remain cheerful. But all three of us were teary. While checking myself and baggage onto my flight, I thought of all the other times I had traveled, but with the assistance of others....baggage handlers, etc., thanks to being a part of the NYCB. I have said previously how convenient that was...and not fully appreciated until I was no longer part of that organization.
I purchased a coffee and a magazine, and sat down in the waiting area for Swissair. There were no cell phones at that time, so couldn't call anyone. So many things have changed since that era; young people these days cannot even imagine NOT having a cell phone or a gadget to listen to tapes. [At this very moment in time, am watching a retrospective of Johnny Carson's life and the TONIGHT SHOW. I always watched him and remember being so sad when his show ended....and recall Bette Midler singing to him..."ONE FOR MY BABY AND ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD." Another talk show host took over, Jay LENO, who was introduced to America on Johnny's show....(Jay had a lot of black hair then). And now he has retired, and Jimmy FALLON is the latest TONIGHT SHOW host. But none will ever come close to Johnny. He really was the quintessential talk show host. (And at this moment, David LETTERMAN is soon to retire; Barbara Walters HAS retired after 50 years on TV. Life moves on...and we all move with it. Johnny was a heavy smoker, and paid the price for that...he eventually died from a lung disease in 2005...don't know if it was emphysema. But for me, he was one of the funniest men in the world.]
Anyway the flight to Geneva was very smooth and comfortable. Swissair is (or was) one of the very best airlines, and the cuisine was excellent. It was the only airline I ever took to Europe during my 9 years of exile (!). None of the American airlines could compare....even the atmosphere in the Swissair terminal was calm and very organized...giving off an air of extreme competence.
My arrival in Geneva was more or less uneventful. The manager of the company, whose name was Pierre, met me...holding a sign with my name on it! He was a rather unusual looking fellow, with dark eyes, and dark complected....and of course, fluent in English. He was Swiss-French, had been a dancer in the Geneva company, and then continued his career as an administrator. He drove me to Ellen's apartment, which (I think) was above a restaurant in the center of town. I recall the tiny elevator, which was a bit rickety...and ascended very slowly to her floor. It is odd how certain details stand out in one's mind....like that elevator, for example...and the smell of raclette and cheese fondue, which I grew to love while in Switzerland. Ellen took me on a walking tour of Geneva (not a huge city)...where I saw the famous flower clock downtown. The next day I took a bus and streetcar tour by myself...(that became my favorite way of sightseeing.) I would not have to worry about driving, directions, or parking and could just ride and look. (I highly recommend it).
My first day in the studio was very interesting. Pat was a very colorful character (she still is)! She always gave class and took it at the same time! I had never seen anyone do that. Her energy level was amazing, and didn't seem to flag. Even when she was sick, she used to say, "I'm sick PLUS I don't feel well!" (That was funny, to me anyway.) One of the ballets being taught was COPPELIA, and Mme. Danilova was there to stage it. She was a true Grande Dame, and always very entertaining. I adored the lady, as did most of her students at SAB where she taught. (She and Mr. B were famously close, and she always did as he wished....including setting Coppelia at NYCB. I had played for many of those rehearsals also. I recall the time when she and I decided to attend an opera at the GRANDE THEATRE DE GENEVE...after all, we were already there. The evening of the opera we were a bit late in leaving the studio, so out on the street and taking hold of each other's hands, we RAN up the hill to the front of the house. I have to say that lady could really RUN!!!
Two dancers (married) who became very close friends in Geneva were Deborah Dobson and Jonas Kage. They had been principal dancers in ABT (American Ballet Theater), and then were offered contracts in Geneva. Debbie and Jonas and I had many adventures together. I remember going cross country skiing with them and another guy (French), and at some point I just couldn't continue. My legs were giving out. Jonas just picked me up and carried me on his back down the slight hill. (Cross country skiing is more difficult than downhill skiing, in my opinion, anyway.) He was very strong, obviously...and I was very grateful. On another occasion (a few years later) we all went on a cruise on Jonas' cousin's yacht in the Bering Sea! That was fun! Since we were on the yacht a few days, we docked at a small island (I think the property was owned by Jonas' cousin) where there was a sauna. So Debbie and I got off the boat to enter the sauna....in towels. Everyone else inside was totally unclothed, and we were quite taken aback. One of the gentleman in the sauna was OUR dentist from Zurich....who waved at us as we walked in. I remember Debbie giggling so hard....but we didn't take our towels off. I have often laughed to myself at that one!
Over the next few years, many dancers from the NYCB came to Zurich, including one of my great friends....Christine Redpath, who is presently ballet mistress at NYCB. She began there (after her dancing was finished) by working for Jerry Robbins. I was able to return her sage advice (to me from years before)....'to never let Jerry know that one was upset by him.' Another dancer and wonderful friend, was Elise Flagg....who came there and danced with Rudolph Nureyev. He liked her very much...partly because she was so little, and he had no problem lifting her! And Elise was a very technically proficient dancer as well. Also her sister, Laura Flagg Pitts (who is much on my mind of later) came there with her husband, Bryan Pitts. Unfortunately, they didn't stay very long....only 9 months. Plus Debbie Austin (with then husband Hartmout), Amanda Bennett (before she went to Basel). Mandy became Director of the Basel Ballet School....and still is. She was a fantastic dancer; I have seen her on the ARTS CHANNEL here in Seattle, dancing with Sheldon Schwartz....Heinz Spoerli's PULCINELLA. A good friend from NYCB, Gerry Ebitz also came to Zurich (and later to PNB). He married Kay Preston...(who unfortunately passed away several years ago....she was murdered by an ex-boyfriend...a horror story if ever there was one.) Elizabeth Carr and Lucette Katerndahl also came to join the Geneva company, and moved to Zurich...but stayed only a short time.
One of my roommates, Laura Smeak, a fantastic and unusual dancer from NYC (not City Ballet, but another company), had a very wonderful sense of humor. She married a Swiss fellow who worked at CERN in Geneva, and now lives there (she moved back after Pat left Zurich). We have re-connected again via Facebook, for which I am most grateful. She and Elise and I were all great friends. She told me she has a son who is a huge fan of Michael Jackson's, and when she told him she had a good friend (Dianne) who had known Michael, he was just ecstatic. It is great to know that present day young people are finding Michael relevant. He was such a great artist and person....and his music is very popular. I find that wonderful...I cannot imagine anyone who would not love Michael's music. I just wish he were still here to compose more of it.
I remember when Elise moved to Zurich and lived in a very small apartment (Elise size) for a time, before her then husband, Michael Romano joined her. They found a larger apartment, and Michael (who already was a well-known chef) became the top chef in the best French restaurant in Zurich. Of course, we were all treated to fabulous dinners from his kitchen, as well as fantastic wines. Plus restaurant jaunts..Michael knew all the best places. One evening Rudi (Nureyev) was invited to dinner by Michael and Elise...(as well as Chrissy and myself...she was my roommate at that time). That was some evening! Rudi persuaded Michael to dance a tango with him in the living room! A few years back, I spoke with Michael on the phone, and asked him if he remembered that evening. He said, "Dianne, I am so glad you reminded me of that...I thought perhaps I had imagined the entire thing. And no one ever believes my story!" But it was definitely true....I WAS THERE!
There are so many stories circulating in my head...and not space or time enough to tell them all. But one comes to mind: On one of our vacation breaks, I took a trip to Majorca, to visit the home of Chopin, and see the caves and other sights. I went by myself, which turned out to be fun...I could do what I wanted when I wanted. Unfortunately, I came in contact with some tainted food in the HOTEL, of all things, near the end of the trip. So I was on the plane when the uncomfortable feelings began. Ugh! I just prayed that I would make it home (to Zurich) before a nasty accident happened. As luck would have it, I did make it home....just in time. The next few days I spent in bed, sick as a dog, and not able to work at all. The doctor was called (either by Chrissy or Albi, Pat's assistant)...and he came over. (Can you imagine house calls from a physician in America?) I had a particularly virulent form of food poisoning, and one just had to basically wait for it to pass. The phone rang, and it was Rudi (Nureyev), who said he knew I was sick, but was wondering if there was ANY possibility I could come in and play RUBIES (Stravinsky) for him? He wanted to learn the music first (by ear) before learning the steps to the ballet with his partner...who was going to be Elise! (That was a FIRST, don't know any other dancer who ever thought of doing that!!) And it was a testament to his thoroughness as an artist. Unfortunately, I told him, it was not possible for me to even sit at the piano, let alone play Stravinsky! He understood, and said he would call me the next day, which he did. I was still too ill to come, but thought I might be able to possibly come the following day. And he called yet again that day....and told me he would bring a bucket!!! Some beautiful flowers arrived at my apartment from him! Well, to make a long story a bit shorter, I did struggle out of bed to the studio that day...Chrissy drove me to the studio, which was of great assistance. And I was able to play all of the Capriccio for him...(he sat next to me at the piano during this session.) Instead of telling him the counts Mr. B had used for the choreography, I told him to count the music as HE HEARD it, which he did. That worked for him. Stravinsky isn't an easy composer to understand, but Rudi was a very musical person, and meticulous in his preparation. I played all the entrance passages several times for him, so he would know (without counting) when he needed to come onstage. There are several places in each movement for the principal couple to enter, so even with no steps learned as yet, he learned the music!!! I think this was the most unusual rehearsal I ever played...with the dancer sitting next to me on the piano bench!!!
When I thought about Geneva, no picture came to my mind. (Not surprising, I dare say.) Actually I felt as though I was looking at a blank screen, or a brick wall. A very strange feeling. But I knew this was a definitive moment.... and there aren't too many of those in life. Although, I must say, this was one of many for me. A few days later, I left my NYC apartment (and Piano) with my friends, Marilee and Clorinda, who were doing their level best to remain cheerful. But all three of us were teary. While checking myself and baggage onto my flight, I thought of all the other times I had traveled, but with the assistance of others....baggage handlers, etc., thanks to being a part of the NYCB. I have said previously how convenient that was...and not fully appreciated until I was no longer part of that organization.
I purchased a coffee and a magazine, and sat down in the waiting area for Swissair. There were no cell phones at that time, so couldn't call anyone. So many things have changed since that era; young people these days cannot even imagine NOT having a cell phone or a gadget to listen to tapes. [At this very moment in time, am watching a retrospective of Johnny Carson's life and the TONIGHT SHOW. I always watched him and remember being so sad when his show ended....and recall Bette Midler singing to him..."ONE FOR MY BABY AND ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD." Another talk show host took over, Jay LENO, who was introduced to America on Johnny's show....(Jay had a lot of black hair then). And now he has retired, and Jimmy FALLON is the latest TONIGHT SHOW host. But none will ever come close to Johnny. He really was the quintessential talk show host. (And at this moment, David LETTERMAN is soon to retire; Barbara Walters HAS retired after 50 years on TV. Life moves on...and we all move with it. Johnny was a heavy smoker, and paid the price for that...he eventually died from a lung disease in 2005...don't know if it was emphysema. But for me, he was one of the funniest men in the world.]
Anyway the flight to Geneva was very smooth and comfortable. Swissair is (or was) one of the very best airlines, and the cuisine was excellent. It was the only airline I ever took to Europe during my 9 years of exile (!). None of the American airlines could compare....even the atmosphere in the Swissair terminal was calm and very organized...giving off an air of extreme competence.
My arrival in Geneva was more or less uneventful. The manager of the company, whose name was Pierre, met me...holding a sign with my name on it! He was a rather unusual looking fellow, with dark eyes, and dark complected....and of course, fluent in English. He was Swiss-French, had been a dancer in the Geneva company, and then continued his career as an administrator. He drove me to Ellen's apartment, which (I think) was above a restaurant in the center of town. I recall the tiny elevator, which was a bit rickety...and ascended very slowly to her floor. It is odd how certain details stand out in one's mind....like that elevator, for example...and the smell of raclette and cheese fondue, which I grew to love while in Switzerland. Ellen took me on a walking tour of Geneva (not a huge city)...where I saw the famous flower clock downtown. The next day I took a bus and streetcar tour by myself...(that became my favorite way of sightseeing.) I would not have to worry about driving, directions, or parking and could just ride and look. (I highly recommend it).
My first day in the studio was very interesting. Pat was a very colorful character (she still is)! She always gave class and took it at the same time! I had never seen anyone do that. Her energy level was amazing, and didn't seem to flag. Even when she was sick, she used to say, "I'm sick PLUS I don't feel well!" (That was funny, to me anyway.) One of the ballets being taught was COPPELIA, and Mme. Danilova was there to stage it. She was a true Grande Dame, and always very entertaining. I adored the lady, as did most of her students at SAB where she taught. (She and Mr. B were famously close, and she always did as he wished....including setting Coppelia at NYCB. I had played for many of those rehearsals also. I recall the time when she and I decided to attend an opera at the GRANDE THEATRE DE GENEVE...after all, we were already there. The evening of the opera we were a bit late in leaving the studio, so out on the street and taking hold of each other's hands, we RAN up the hill to the front of the house. I have to say that lady could really RUN!!!
Two dancers (married) who became very close friends in Geneva were Deborah Dobson and Jonas Kage. They had been principal dancers in ABT (American Ballet Theater), and then were offered contracts in Geneva. Debbie and Jonas and I had many adventures together. I remember going cross country skiing with them and another guy (French), and at some point I just couldn't continue. My legs were giving out. Jonas just picked me up and carried me on his back down the slight hill. (Cross country skiing is more difficult than downhill skiing, in my opinion, anyway.) He was very strong, obviously...and I was very grateful. On another occasion (a few years later) we all went on a cruise on Jonas' cousin's yacht in the Bering Sea! That was fun! Since we were on the yacht a few days, we docked at a small island (I think the property was owned by Jonas' cousin) where there was a sauna. So Debbie and I got off the boat to enter the sauna....in towels. Everyone else inside was totally unclothed, and we were quite taken aback. One of the gentleman in the sauna was OUR dentist from Zurich....who waved at us as we walked in. I remember Debbie giggling so hard....but we didn't take our towels off. I have often laughed to myself at that one!
Over the next few years, many dancers from the NYCB came to Zurich, including one of my great friends....Christine Redpath, who is presently ballet mistress at NYCB. She began there (after her dancing was finished) by working for Jerry Robbins. I was able to return her sage advice (to me from years before)....'to never let Jerry know that one was upset by him.' Another dancer and wonderful friend, was Elise Flagg....who came there and danced with Rudolph Nureyev. He liked her very much...partly because she was so little, and he had no problem lifting her! And Elise was a very technically proficient dancer as well. Also her sister, Laura Flagg Pitts (who is much on my mind of later) came there with her husband, Bryan Pitts. Unfortunately, they didn't stay very long....only 9 months. Plus Debbie Austin (with then husband Hartmout), Amanda Bennett (before she went to Basel). Mandy became Director of the Basel Ballet School....and still is. She was a fantastic dancer; I have seen her on the ARTS CHANNEL here in Seattle, dancing with Sheldon Schwartz....Heinz Spoerli's PULCINELLA. A good friend from NYCB, Gerry Ebitz also came to Zurich (and later to PNB). He married Kay Preston...(who unfortunately passed away several years ago....she was murdered by an ex-boyfriend...a horror story if ever there was one.) Elizabeth Carr and Lucette Katerndahl also came to join the Geneva company, and moved to Zurich...but stayed only a short time.
One of my roommates, Laura Smeak, a fantastic and unusual dancer from NYC (not City Ballet, but another company), had a very wonderful sense of humor. She married a Swiss fellow who worked at CERN in Geneva, and now lives there (she moved back after Pat left Zurich). We have re-connected again via Facebook, for which I am most grateful. She and Elise and I were all great friends. She told me she has a son who is a huge fan of Michael Jackson's, and when she told him she had a good friend (Dianne) who had known Michael, he was just ecstatic. It is great to know that present day young people are finding Michael relevant. He was such a great artist and person....and his music is very popular. I find that wonderful...I cannot imagine anyone who would not love Michael's music. I just wish he were still here to compose more of it.
I remember when Elise moved to Zurich and lived in a very small apartment (Elise size) for a time, before her then husband, Michael Romano joined her. They found a larger apartment, and Michael (who already was a well-known chef) became the top chef in the best French restaurant in Zurich. Of course, we were all treated to fabulous dinners from his kitchen, as well as fantastic wines. Plus restaurant jaunts..Michael knew all the best places. One evening Rudi (Nureyev) was invited to dinner by Michael and Elise...(as well as Chrissy and myself...she was my roommate at that time). That was some evening! Rudi persuaded Michael to dance a tango with him in the living room! A few years back, I spoke with Michael on the phone, and asked him if he remembered that evening. He said, "Dianne, I am so glad you reminded me of that...I thought perhaps I had imagined the entire thing. And no one ever believes my story!" But it was definitely true....I WAS THERE!
There are so many stories circulating in my head...and not space or time enough to tell them all. But one comes to mind: On one of our vacation breaks, I took a trip to Majorca, to visit the home of Chopin, and see the caves and other sights. I went by myself, which turned out to be fun...I could do what I wanted when I wanted. Unfortunately, I came in contact with some tainted food in the HOTEL, of all things, near the end of the trip. So I was on the plane when the uncomfortable feelings began. Ugh! I just prayed that I would make it home (to Zurich) before a nasty accident happened. As luck would have it, I did make it home....just in time. The next few days I spent in bed, sick as a dog, and not able to work at all. The doctor was called (either by Chrissy or Albi, Pat's assistant)...and he came over. (Can you imagine house calls from a physician in America?) I had a particularly virulent form of food poisoning, and one just had to basically wait for it to pass. The phone rang, and it was Rudi (Nureyev), who said he knew I was sick, but was wondering if there was ANY possibility I could come in and play RUBIES (Stravinsky) for him? He wanted to learn the music first (by ear) before learning the steps to the ballet with his partner...who was going to be Elise! (That was a FIRST, don't know any other dancer who ever thought of doing that!!) And it was a testament to his thoroughness as an artist. Unfortunately, I told him, it was not possible for me to even sit at the piano, let alone play Stravinsky! He understood, and said he would call me the next day, which he did. I was still too ill to come, but thought I might be able to possibly come the following day. And he called yet again that day....and told me he would bring a bucket!!! Some beautiful flowers arrived at my apartment from him! Well, to make a long story a bit shorter, I did struggle out of bed to the studio that day...Chrissy drove me to the studio, which was of great assistance. And I was able to play all of the Capriccio for him...(he sat next to me at the piano during this session.) Instead of telling him the counts Mr. B had used for the choreography, I told him to count the music as HE HEARD it, which he did. That worked for him. Stravinsky isn't an easy composer to understand, but Rudi was a very musical person, and meticulous in his preparation. I played all the entrance passages several times for him, so he would know (without counting) when he needed to come onstage. There are several places in each movement for the principal couple to enter, so even with no steps learned as yet, he learned the music!!! I think this was the most unusual rehearsal I ever played...with the dancer sitting next to me on the piano bench!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
MORE STORIES/ADVENTURES....(Chapter 22)
This is a tale of a chance encounter with Mr. Balanchine in an elevator at the State Theater. It began with the door opening on the Stage Level, where I was waiting for it. Mr. B was already in the elevator and did not get out, saying he was going up to his office on the 4th floor. Which is where I was headed as well. So I got in the elevator....there was a pause, and then he asked me how I was.....to which I answered that I was very well. THEN he made an unusual remark...."deeer, I could get you Very Nice Piano." Hmm. Well, where did that come from, I wondered? And I answered that I HAD a very nice piano, to which he then added..."Very nice Steinway"...Oh...thought I, this is getting interesting. And I said, "well, Mr. Balanchine, I have a very good Steinway." Undaunted, he said, "well, I can get you better and newer one, then you will have two!" I didn't want to say that my apartment wouldn't be large enough to accommodate two Steinway pianos, lest he might mention that he could get me a large condo! So I said nothing. He then said, "you know, deeer, I like pianists also...not only dancers." By now this was getting just a tad uncomfortable, and I was wishing the elevator would move faster! But as luck would have it, the darn thing stopped on every floor. But at least more people got on, precluding the need for further conversation with Mr. B. I stood there (very uncomfortable, I might add) and told him I had a rehearsal for which I was a bit unprepared and needed to run through the score beforehand. I am sure he was amused at my discomfiture (I was NOT amused, of course). However, he never again made such an obvious overture, at least not in NYC. No, he waited until Zurich (a few years later!) He changed his tactic, and asked Pat to speak to me on his behalf! Oh Great!!! She did speak to me (in a rehearsal one day)...and I asked her to please pass a message that I was 'involved' with a cellist, and therefore not available. (That was true.) But....he had something else up his sleeve. Sneaky man! During his visit, I had a rehearsal one evening with my cellist friend (for some upcoming concerts). Pat phoned me there (at Mr. B's request, she said) to invite me to dinner at her house (where he was cooking). She said he was adamant that I must come as he wanted to speak to me about a new ballet... DAVIDSBUNDLER TANZEN, which he had just finished choreographing. Of course, I could not say no....one just didn't do that. When I told my cellist friend, Christian, that I needed to leave, he was very puzzled (and a bit annoyed). He didn't understand that any of us would just drop everything when Mr. B requested our presence. No...most people didn't understand that...(but they didn't work for the man, either.) So I just said that I was very sorry to leave, but we would have to re-schedule our rehearsal. And I left! That was how it was with Mr. B....he had the power. The conclusion of this story is that I remained good friends with him until the end of his life, and went out to dinner with him several times in Zurich....but that other subject never came up again. THANK GOODNESS!. When he was very ill I visited him in hospital in New York City (I had traveled there to play for the Basel Ballet)...and he was still lucid and talkative. I returned to Zurich for a very short time, to rehearse the company for a tour to Washington D.C. with Rudi Nureyev. The night before we left for America, I had a very clear dream that Mr. Balanchine had passed away....and awoke crying. I told my roommate, Christine Redpath about my dream...and indeed when we deplaned in NYC, learned of his passing. I have had many such dreams....(one about Michael Jackson as well.) I have no idea from whence or why these dreams occur. But they do.
This next story involves a LIEBESLIEDER WALZER performance at the State Theater (as it was called then) in NYC. Now I always left my apartment early enough to travel to the theater in plenty of time to get dressed, warm up, and generally be ready for the performance. This particular evening was no exception. At that time I lived on 109th Street and Broadway, so left even earlier. When I got to the street, saw that the traffic was NOT moving...and the bus I normally took, was just stopped. A real traffic jam! I ran to the nearest subway tunnel, and found the same situation...the trains were going nowhere! So ran back up the stairs, into the street, and flagged down a motorist who was stopped at a light (he looked like a nice guy). and begged him to take me to the NY State Theater backstage entrance. (He knew where it was.) I offered him money for this, but he refused....saying this was a unique opportunity for him to drive the NYCB piano soloist to her performance! He was into it! He did some fancy maneuvering and by a miracle, I arrived at the theater five (5) minutes before the performance was supposed to start. After promising my chauffeur tickets to a performance, and expressing my profuse thanks, I ran into the theater and up one flight of stairs, to the Stage Level (never mind the slow elevator). Mme. Pourmel was waiting for me with my Liebeslieder gown....bless her heart! The dress was put on me, my hair was done by two people, then make-up applied, and voila! I was ready! I picked up my music (thank goodness I hadn't left it in that car!) and walked onto the stage to the piano, where Robert was already seated. The dancers were in place....they were all waiting for me!! Robert said in his best British accent, "dear, where HAHVE you been?" Breathless, I said nothing, sat down, put the music on the piano, and at that very moment the curtain WENT UP.....so we started our introduction to the first waltz! AND not even a minute late! Mr. B was in his customary position in the wings...by the piano....and just said to me "Good to see you here, deeeer!" His little joke, of course!
This next story involves a LIEBESLIEDER WALZER performance at the State Theater (as it was called then) in NYC. Now I always left my apartment early enough to travel to the theater in plenty of time to get dressed, warm up, and generally be ready for the performance. This particular evening was no exception. At that time I lived on 109th Street and Broadway, so left even earlier. When I got to the street, saw that the traffic was NOT moving...and the bus I normally took, was just stopped. A real traffic jam! I ran to the nearest subway tunnel, and found the same situation...the trains were going nowhere! So ran back up the stairs, into the street, and flagged down a motorist who was stopped at a light (he looked like a nice guy). and begged him to take me to the NY State Theater backstage entrance. (He knew where it was.) I offered him money for this, but he refused....saying this was a unique opportunity for him to drive the NYCB piano soloist to her performance! He was into it! He did some fancy maneuvering and by a miracle, I arrived at the theater five (5) minutes before the performance was supposed to start. After promising my chauffeur tickets to a performance, and expressing my profuse thanks, I ran into the theater and up one flight of stairs, to the Stage Level (never mind the slow elevator). Mme. Pourmel was waiting for me with my Liebeslieder gown....bless her heart! The dress was put on me, my hair was done by two people, then make-up applied, and voila! I was ready! I picked up my music (thank goodness I hadn't left it in that car!) and walked onto the stage to the piano, where Robert was already seated. The dancers were in place....they were all waiting for me!! Robert said in his best British accent, "dear, where HAHVE you been?" Breathless, I said nothing, sat down, put the music on the piano, and at that very moment the curtain WENT UP.....so we started our introduction to the first waltz! AND not even a minute late! Mr. B was in his customary position in the wings...by the piano....and just said to me "Good to see you here, deeeer!" His little joke, of course!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
UNUSUAL REHEARSALS OR HAPPENINGS AT NYCB (Chapter 22)
It is time for a description of a few memorable happenings, rehearsals, performances at the NYCB. I will begin with a rehearsal which took place in the large studio at the KENNEDY CENTER Opera House in Washington D.C. Mr. Balanchine had decided to begin choreographing a new ballet for the RAVEL FESTIVAL called "SONATINE"...a lovely 3 movement work for piano by Maurice Ravel, of course. Two French dancers were called....Violette Verdy and Jean Pierre Bonnefous. I was playing for this rehearsal as I was scheduled to perform the work with them on stage. So we began the rehearsal by placing the piano diagonally across from the two of them.
Now if you have ever been around French people, you will know they tend to speak continuously and very fast. These two were no exception! One of my favorite dancers (and people) is definitely Violette. She is so musical, and I always enjoyed working with her. I had not worked much with Jean-Pierre, but found him a most pleasant fellow, who was always very polite. Today, however, Violette was in rare form. She did not stop talking WHILE Mr. B was choreographing! When he told her to do an 'Arabesque,' for example, she said..."oh J'adore Arabesque!" I began laughing softly to myself, as I had never heard anyone say that before! Then he told her to do a 'Promenade' with JP, and she said...."oh, J'adore Promenade!"
This was becoming a comedy....(I looked at Mr. B's face, and could see him laughing softly as well!) Then he directed them to go to the other side of the studio, but they were chattering so much they didn't hear him! So he said to me, "well, since they are over there, I will go there....it will save time." By now I was flabbergasted at the way this rehearsal was progressing...and trying my best NOT to laugh. When he told Violette to do a Pas de chat, and she AGAIN said..."oh, J'adore Pas de chat!" I nearly lost it then! So Mr. B started to choreograph a little solo for Jean-Pierre (who did NOT say..."J'adore"....whatever the step was. THANK Goodness!) Things continued in this fashion for the rest of the rehearsal....and somehow Mr. B managed to choreograph the entire piece (3 movements...about 15 minutes) during the time frame! Balanchine is a very skilled and efficient choreographer.....and when people are paying close attention, things go very quickly. But this rehearsal was another matter entirely. I actually couldn't believe it. There was no one else in the studio to witness this rehearsal....which was probably a good thing....who would believe it?!! When I described what happened to my colleague, Jerry, he had a difficult time believing me.
The next incident was not a rehearsal, but an occurrence.
In this Opera House, there was only one dressing room with a piano in it, so we 3 pianists were assigned to it. Also in the same space with us was Hugo, Robert (the two conductors), plus Mr. B. and Jerry Robbins as well! Of course we did not spend much time in that room, unless someone was practicing, however that seemed like too many people for one dressing area! I kept my coat, music, and concert dress in the closet....and only practiced (warmed up) before a performance. One day after rehearsal, I ran in there to get my coat to walk back to the hotel. There was no one in the sitting room, but I heard water running in the bathroom. I sat down at the piano to run through a certain passage of music, when the door to the bathroom opened. And out walked Mr. Balanchine clad only IN A TOWEL!!! He had no idea I was there and I had zero idea that he had been taking a shower! I was completely embarrassed, and turning beet red, got up from the piano! I apologized profusely, and just said..."I am leaving right now...so sorry! I could see that Mr. B. was MOST amused! And I ran out of the room as fast as I could! (This isn't the end of the story...) The next morning many of the girls entered the elevator on the bottom floor, followed by Mr. B. I was already there, and when he saw me, he smiled (wickedly, I might add) and said...."well, you see deeeer, TODAY I have my pants ON!!!!! Every head in that elevator whipped around to stare at me! I was mortified! Of course, Mr. B enjoyed that little joke very, very much. No one said a word....you could hear a pin drop, (if someone had dropped one!) As we were all walking to the big studio for class, one of my friends came up to me and said...."what was that all about anyway?" I started to explain when Mr. B came up to us, and I stopped talking. Then in class, he actually told the entire story...about the shower, my practicing the piano, and all the rest. Everyone had a good laugh, mostly at my expense! But at least those girls would know what had happened, and their imaginations could stop working overtime!
This is a story about me, performing in the orchestra pit. There was a young man at NYCB who had been hired as a 'gofer' for the company. One of his duties was to turn pages for us pianists in performances. (He was studying piano with Gordon, so he did read music). One evening I was playing 'RUBIES' (Capriccio for Piano and Orchestra, by Stravinsky).
While I know this music from memory, it is necessary to have the music at hand, just in case. After all, there are dancers on stage depending on the music, and thus on me. (This is quite a serious responsibility.) Turning pages is not an easy task....the page turner has to know the music and anticipate the performer's wishes. I made a habit of saying "TURN" just before I needed the page turned. This seemed to work well with most page turners, however this person was not one of them. He thought he knew BEST when to turn, and actually he did NOT! So.... on one occasion when he failed to respond to my directive, I told him (while still playing) that he needed to do as I wished, not as HE wished! Well, he seemed to become annoyed, and when he turned the next page, did it so angrily that the music FELL ON THE FLOOR!!! I was so shocked that I almost stopped playing, but didn't, of course. He seemed to be IN SHOCK and just froze. I had to say to him...."PLEASE pick up the music and put it on the piano to page_______ (whatever it was"). Hmph!!!! Robert Irving (conductor) noticed the brouhaha at the piano, and began glowering at both of us! Somehow this disaster didn't affect the performance on stage, thank goodness! But at the end of the piece, I (furious as could be) yelled at the hapless young man, telling him that was the LAST TIME he would turn pages for me!!! I told Jerry and Gordon about this incident. They had never experienced the music falling on the floor, but felt that he did not follow directions well at all. So....that was the end of that page turner....although he stayed on, working in other areas (but no more page turning!)
In re-reading this chapter, I see that many might conclude that most of my time spent with the NYCB was fraught with accidents or incidents.....both amusing and ridiculous! Well, that was partly true. I had garnered a reputation for being the one who got into 'situations.' While I was always very meticulous in rehearsals, I guess that 'things' just seemed to happen, for some reason. One of my friends said she thought a book based on The Perils of Pauline should be written....called The Perils of Dianne....about my rehearsals. I almost always enjoyed all my performances....either with orchestra or as a soloist...including the very lovely 'SONATINE.' However, Mr. Balanchine was insisting that I play this work from memory on stage with the dancers. He didn't want another person onstage turning pages...to disturb the stage scenario. Now playing from memory was 'par for the course' for any concert pianist, and I was accustomed to this. But this was a ballet performance, and the dancers depended on me. So I was a bit nervous about this turn of events. But Mr. B was adamant in this matter, so I just accepted his decision. For this onstage appearance, I had a very lovely Spanish dress, which my mother had bought for me in Mexico. It was black lace with colorful flowers embroidered on the entire dress....very elegant looking. This dress caused much comment. Violette thought it was too flamboyant for the ballet...especially since she and Jean-Pierre were wearing muted Blue and Grey. However, Mr. B loved the dress, and wanted me to wear it...so that was that! Many of my friends came to the performance to see THE DRESS, including Jerry and Gordon! On one evening before the performance, I was combing and arranging my hair in front of the mirror just outside the stage area. Then Mr. B came up to me, took the comb and began re-arranging my hair. He said, "hair has to look good, in case piano playing ISN'T!" I was quite shocked at that remark....he had a way of making a person feel uncomfortable. But I knew that he was trying to rattle me, and I refused to be intimidated. So I calmly said...."Mr. B, you would be very upset if I actually forgot what I was playing on stage, wouldn't you?" He chuckled at that one....he knew I would NOT forget the music, and was amused at my cheekiness.
That was the way it was there....always cat and mouse...(for everyone, I might add!)
Now if you have ever been around French people, you will know they tend to speak continuously and very fast. These two were no exception! One of my favorite dancers (and people) is definitely Violette. She is so musical, and I always enjoyed working with her. I had not worked much with Jean-Pierre, but found him a most pleasant fellow, who was always very polite. Today, however, Violette was in rare form. She did not stop talking WHILE Mr. B was choreographing! When he told her to do an 'Arabesque,' for example, she said..."oh J'adore Arabesque!" I began laughing softly to myself, as I had never heard anyone say that before! Then he told her to do a 'Promenade' with JP, and she said...."oh, J'adore Promenade!"
This was becoming a comedy....(I looked at Mr. B's face, and could see him laughing softly as well!) Then he directed them to go to the other side of the studio, but they were chattering so much they didn't hear him! So he said to me, "well, since they are over there, I will go there....it will save time." By now I was flabbergasted at the way this rehearsal was progressing...and trying my best NOT to laugh. When he told Violette to do a Pas de chat, and she AGAIN said..."oh, J'adore Pas de chat!" I nearly lost it then! So Mr. B started to choreograph a little solo for Jean-Pierre (who did NOT say..."J'adore"....whatever the step was. THANK Goodness!) Things continued in this fashion for the rest of the rehearsal....and somehow Mr. B managed to choreograph the entire piece (3 movements...about 15 minutes) during the time frame! Balanchine is a very skilled and efficient choreographer.....and when people are paying close attention, things go very quickly. But this rehearsal was another matter entirely. I actually couldn't believe it. There was no one else in the studio to witness this rehearsal....which was probably a good thing....who would believe it?!! When I described what happened to my colleague, Jerry, he had a difficult time believing me.
The next incident was not a rehearsal, but an occurrence.
In this Opera House, there was only one dressing room with a piano in it, so we 3 pianists were assigned to it. Also in the same space with us was Hugo, Robert (the two conductors), plus Mr. B. and Jerry Robbins as well! Of course we did not spend much time in that room, unless someone was practicing, however that seemed like too many people for one dressing area! I kept my coat, music, and concert dress in the closet....and only practiced (warmed up) before a performance. One day after rehearsal, I ran in there to get my coat to walk back to the hotel. There was no one in the sitting room, but I heard water running in the bathroom. I sat down at the piano to run through a certain passage of music, when the door to the bathroom opened. And out walked Mr. Balanchine clad only IN A TOWEL!!! He had no idea I was there and I had zero idea that he had been taking a shower! I was completely embarrassed, and turning beet red, got up from the piano! I apologized profusely, and just said..."I am leaving right now...so sorry! I could see that Mr. B. was MOST amused! And I ran out of the room as fast as I could! (This isn't the end of the story...) The next morning many of the girls entered the elevator on the bottom floor, followed by Mr. B. I was already there, and when he saw me, he smiled (wickedly, I might add) and said...."well, you see deeeer, TODAY I have my pants ON!!!!! Every head in that elevator whipped around to stare at me! I was mortified! Of course, Mr. B enjoyed that little joke very, very much. No one said a word....you could hear a pin drop, (if someone had dropped one!) As we were all walking to the big studio for class, one of my friends came up to me and said...."what was that all about anyway?" I started to explain when Mr. B came up to us, and I stopped talking. Then in class, he actually told the entire story...about the shower, my practicing the piano, and all the rest. Everyone had a good laugh, mostly at my expense! But at least those girls would know what had happened, and their imaginations could stop working overtime!
This is a story about me, performing in the orchestra pit. There was a young man at NYCB who had been hired as a 'gofer' for the company. One of his duties was to turn pages for us pianists in performances. (He was studying piano with Gordon, so he did read music). One evening I was playing 'RUBIES' (Capriccio for Piano and Orchestra, by Stravinsky).
While I know this music from memory, it is necessary to have the music at hand, just in case. After all, there are dancers on stage depending on the music, and thus on me. (This is quite a serious responsibility.) Turning pages is not an easy task....the page turner has to know the music and anticipate the performer's wishes. I made a habit of saying "TURN" just before I needed the page turned. This seemed to work well with most page turners, however this person was not one of them. He thought he knew BEST when to turn, and actually he did NOT! So.... on one occasion when he failed to respond to my directive, I told him (while still playing) that he needed to do as I wished, not as HE wished! Well, he seemed to become annoyed, and when he turned the next page, did it so angrily that the music FELL ON THE FLOOR!!! I was so shocked that I almost stopped playing, but didn't, of course. He seemed to be IN SHOCK and just froze. I had to say to him...."PLEASE pick up the music and put it on the piano to page_______ (whatever it was"). Hmph!!!! Robert Irving (conductor) noticed the brouhaha at the piano, and began glowering at both of us! Somehow this disaster didn't affect the performance on stage, thank goodness! But at the end of the piece, I (furious as could be) yelled at the hapless young man, telling him that was the LAST TIME he would turn pages for me!!! I told Jerry and Gordon about this incident. They had never experienced the music falling on the floor, but felt that he did not follow directions well at all. So....that was the end of that page turner....although he stayed on, working in other areas (but no more page turning!)
In re-reading this chapter, I see that many might conclude that most of my time spent with the NYCB was fraught with accidents or incidents.....both amusing and ridiculous! Well, that was partly true. I had garnered a reputation for being the one who got into 'situations.' While I was always very meticulous in rehearsals, I guess that 'things' just seemed to happen, for some reason. One of my friends said she thought a book based on The Perils of Pauline should be written....called The Perils of Dianne....about my rehearsals. I almost always enjoyed all my performances....either with orchestra or as a soloist...including the very lovely 'SONATINE.' However, Mr. Balanchine was insisting that I play this work from memory on stage with the dancers. He didn't want another person onstage turning pages...to disturb the stage scenario. Now playing from memory was 'par for the course' for any concert pianist, and I was accustomed to this. But this was a ballet performance, and the dancers depended on me. So I was a bit nervous about this turn of events. But Mr. B was adamant in this matter, so I just accepted his decision. For this onstage appearance, I had a very lovely Spanish dress, which my mother had bought for me in Mexico. It was black lace with colorful flowers embroidered on the entire dress....very elegant looking. This dress caused much comment. Violette thought it was too flamboyant for the ballet...especially since she and Jean-Pierre were wearing muted Blue and Grey. However, Mr. B loved the dress, and wanted me to wear it...so that was that! Many of my friends came to the performance to see THE DRESS, including Jerry and Gordon! On one evening before the performance, I was combing and arranging my hair in front of the mirror just outside the stage area. Then Mr. B came up to me, took the comb and began re-arranging my hair. He said, "hair has to look good, in case piano playing ISN'T!" I was quite shocked at that remark....he had a way of making a person feel uncomfortable. But I knew that he was trying to rattle me, and I refused to be intimidated. So I calmly said...."Mr. B, you would be very upset if I actually forgot what I was playing on stage, wouldn't you?" He chuckled at that one....he knew I would NOT forget the music, and was amused at my cheekiness.
That was the way it was there....always cat and mouse...(for everyone, I might add!)
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
MICHAEL, MY MAGNIFICENT FRIEND
How will you know that I am finished?
Really, really
How will I ever know the answer
To that question....
Inside my mind
Within my heart
There exists no
'Cease'
No grasping the concept of
'I am done.'
And yet
If God breathes this word,
'STOP'
On me
I will accept this from Him
I will be content in Him
I will be finished.
But.....considering my history
Taking into account my motivation
Understanding the power of my inspiration
I would expect that
You would never be finished
Receiving
Because I will never be finished
Creating
Only time will tell
Only God's time will tell.
(An excerpt from the full poem....written by
Michael Jackson. (c) 5/10/10 Rosalynn Smith)
Ros gave me this excerpt a few years ago when she learned of my friendship with Michael. I am including it here as well as another poem she recently received from him, and posted on Facebook. For those who are fans of Michael's, see below:
NO MATTER WHEN I AM AWAKE
Nor even when I cannot sleep,
I am never alone.
Desolate though my mind may feel,
My heart knows knows nothing of that care.
In my every moment
I am connected with
Others also not asleep
Others in whom
My essence is immersed
My needs attended to
Others who
Even not knowing their names
Even not seeing their faces -
Though their faces are in my mind's eye
Though their names are written on my heart -
Others whom I love unconditionally
Who love me equally
First and also in return.
I am blanketed in this affection.
For I am not a citizen of some place
I am a child of the world.
In sleeplessness
I turn to them -
My companions
Whom neither distance nor unawareness
Can separate from me -
I seek them out
In delight and in sorrow
In delight and in fear
In wonder and in doubt
They never fail me -
Never have
Never will -
And this
I pray they know.
Across eons and light years of time
Through burdens inconceivable to bear
Midst bliss indestructible -
In this earthbound reality
They are my only constant
Not even heaven deigns to intervene
For we transcended
Familiar conventions
We transcend, still
In our now,
For some while, separate
Realms.
Celebrations rise up for us,
There and here
Because
We bring delight and comfort
We offer comfort and hope
Our voices sing of opportunity
Our bodies move
In the dance of possibility
We confirm love
Beyond ourselves.
Unremarkable as we should be
We are, instead, exquisitely unique.
Through all the years there was of me,
This never changed
Except, perhaps, to grow
In number
In strength
In sincerity
You never changed
Towards me.
And I,
Therefore
Never knew the pain
Your absence would have been.
You are incomparable gifts
To my heart
To my life
To the fullness of my purpose.
This is the definition of
You for me:
Blessing given
Hope fulfilled
Joy eternal
Love requited.
Sleep now
Sweet angels there below
In peace we meet
In purpose revel
No matter that I wake or sleep
I know your constant presence
So I am not,
Not ever....
Alone.
Rosalynn Smith (c)2014
Michael's beautiful writing ability was not known to many.....except, of course, as it applied to his song lyrics. Somehow it just did not occur to people that his prose or poetry was from the same well as his lyrics! When I would tell anyone how wonderful his writing was, they were always surprised. Why? He was, in fact, a multi-gifted, multi-faceted individual who was a total Renaissance Man, as it were. Of course, those who worked with him realized he could sing, dance, write music, create shows, act, and etc. He also could paint and draw very well (many of his paintings were discovered after his death in a huge storage facility...at an airport which wasn't used much. He was also very athletic....and had he chosen to do so, could have been an ace runner, tennis pro, etc. He could DO just about everything, including cook! I cannot speak for others, only myself. From the onset I was very impressed by his abilities in music and dance; and although I have considerable ability in the field of music (being a professional musician and performer), I was stunned by how much he knew about music....and he was never FORMALLY schooled! He had a phenomenal ear and could hear the smallest errors on stage, WHILE performing himself. He really blew me away! I have worked with dancers all my life (as piano soloist with the NEW YORK CITY BALLET, PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET (in Seattle), and THE ZURICH COMPANY in Switzerland....so am very conversant with dance, particularly classical ballet and the Balanchine repertoire. I ALWAYS knew exactly how steps were connected to the music, and this particular ability led to my work with George Balanchine, Jerome Robbins, Rudi (Rudolph) Nureyev, etc. And my ability to sightread music easily was a handy little tool! I never thought much about it....it was easy for me, so I took it for granted. I remember remarking to Michael how his ability to pick up choreography at the drop of a hat, fascinated me. He looked at me in surprise, saying "well, Dianne, it is just how you can look at a piece of music and instantly play it! That really blows my mind!" Of course, he did not have a real appreciation of how quickly he did learn dance steps.....(I really wish he could have worked with a choreographer like Jerry Robbins, for example, whose works he could have danced wonderfully, I am sure. He hadn't trained to be a ballet dancer, and did not want to have the muscular thighs that most male dancers acquire via their training). No. Michael wanted the long lean look, so he trained for that type of musculature. When I watched him work, I always wondered which part of his brain he was using for dance, and which part for music. (I actually wished I could see inside that brain of his!). Because he was definitely a mixture of the two. I have to say I was totally mesmerized by him and really enjoyed spending time with him. Apparently he felt the same way about me, so we were very close for quite a while. Because he was so slender, I thought he didn't eat very much, and sometimes he didn't. But he had a very healthy appetite as well, and especially loved Thanksgiving type dinners...like chicken or turkey, mashed potatoes with gravy, veggies and salad. (KFC was also a great favorite.) Plus chocolate cake! He definitely had a sweet tooth, although he didn't overindulge in desserts. We didn't go out to dinner...that would not have worked, for obvious reasons. (In my opinion, there is such a thing as TOO much fame! He definitely had WAY too much, and it prevented him from living his life in a more normal fashion.) However, he took all that in stride, figuring it was the way things were and part of the hand he had been dealt. However, I worried about him incessantly, and cautioned him to be very careful with people. (They weren't going to be like his family, for example, or his musicians, or me). He was such a GOOD person, and would do anything for anyone, no matter who they were. This was all fine and good, but for him....it led to many problems, as everyone knows. He represented 'dollar signs' ($$$$) to many people, even some of his staff. I don't know how he was able to handle it all. But he did!! Such a brilliant person, he really had a beautiful mind. And he almost never complained. He did love performing, and the adulation of the crowd energized him. On stage he went into his own world and just 'did his thing.' It was a lot of fun to watch him from the wings...when I was there we used to go back to his hotel, order room service, and watch television!
The BAD Tour was the one in which he wanted me to be a participant and play keyboard with the other musicians (there were two other keyboard players....one of them was Greg Phillinganes, who had been with him for some time. Greg was and still is excellent.....he could play anything by ear! He wasn't a concert pianist, but that didn't matter.) The tour was slated to be very long, and I was reluctant to commit to such an extensive period of time. I had concerts scheduled, and didn't want to cancel them. He understood, but was disappointed and just a little annoyed, I think. Now when I look back, I wish I HAD gone with him. He wanted me to move into his house in Encino (Hayvenhurst, it is called) where he and his family lived....along with some exotic animals as well! I was a little apprehensive (not about the exotic animals, but being in a household with his dad), but Michael assured me that Joseph (as everyone called him) would leave me alone. That way I could rehearse with him and the other musicians, as well as practice my concert pieces. (I soon learned that when he had an idea, he visualized everything around it....all possibilities and contingencies.) He made it all sound so absolutely inviting and possible, that I really had a difficult time making a decision. His brothers had moved out by then, although the Jackson brothers were often at the house visiting. (They were all very close to their mother...none more than Michael.) His sisters LaToya and Janet still lived there....Rebbie had left the nest long ago to marry Nathaniel Brown. The house had been remodeled by Michael, and he owned the deed...and shared that with his mom so she would have something of her own. (I don't think I have ever met a man who was more devoted to his mother than Michael).
He had not yet purchased his Neverland Ranch, but it was in the works. He had big plans for that property....and drew up countless scenarios and maps. He talked constantly about it, as it was to be his 'forever' home. I could hardly wait for it to happen. He was building a zoo for all his animals, a theater (of course) which included 2 bedrooms (enclosed by glass windows) with hospital type beds for terminally ill children. Included on the property was to be a Disney-type theme park...with many wonderful rides (including a carousel...my favorite.) There was going to be a train which ran around the residential part of the property. He thought of everything....and sometimes would stop what he was doing, (working), and write something down...about that property. He brought all of his powerful imagination to bear upon the creation of this residence. The filming of "SAY SAY SAY" had been done on the property.... Paul McCartney and his wife had leased it for a brief time, and Michael was enchanted with it. When he shared his ideas with me it was like watching a magician create an illusion, because when he described something, one could actually SEE it.
At this time his skin color was still dark, although it had lightened considerably. When he performed, the perspiration on his face caused his makeup to run, and one could see the blotches on his skin. I know this really caused him misery, but he mostly tried to ignore it. Unfortunately, many didn't believe he had vitiligo (the skin disorder which causes the pigmentation of the skin to lose its color----white people, for example, become 'albinos') and thought he was trying to become 'white'. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Michael was an African American man with curly black hair who was proud of his heritage. It has always been mystifying to me why he was criticized so viciously for this....and other matters. He had no control over the color of his skin (any more than you or I do), and would have preferred (if possible) to remain a black American. It didn't matter to me WHAT color he was; he was just Michael to me. I told him that....he knew that I loved him as he was. Black, white, green, or somewhere in between!
One thing that really bothered him as a young teenager was the size of his nose. Apparently he had been teased about that as a kid. So he changed it one day....(this was before I knew him...he told me about it). He said he came home with bandages on his face, and his mother nearly fainted. Now why that should concern people is beyond me. Nearly every celebrity (as well as others) frequently have 'nose jobs.' I personally think he went a bit too far with that nose reduction business, but it WAS his nose. Why shouldn't he do what he wanted? He could certainly afford it! That was the only thing he did to his face, however. He didn't change his cheekbones, although he did have a cleft put in his chin. (He liked how that looked on Kirk Douglas!)
He could not understand the media's fascination with all those personal issues. What interested him was how someone's mind worked, what they thought, what they accomplished, etc. He was so far from being small-minded, interested in gossip, or what the tabloids offered. It bothered me so much to see what people actually wrote about him. Most of it was nonsense....fabricated lies, just to sell magazines or newspapers. I recall reading one of those terrible magazines and then throwing it on the floor! I was so irate! Michael just said....'don't worry about all that. I don't.' And then he threw the magazine away. That is how he was! It seemed to me that the press builds a person up one minute only to tear them down the next. That was what happened to him. He went from being the darling of the pop music world to being criticized for everything he did (and then some). I HATED it!!! (It was then that I remembered Mr. Balanchine telling me in the elevator in the New York State Theater not to put too much stock in any review I might get. I had just played in Alice Tully Hall and received a marvelous review. He said "if you believe the Good ones, then you have to believe the Bad. Best to believe nothing, and just do your work!" Wise man! I told Michael exactly what Mr. Balanchine had said to me...and he said the same thing..."he is right...you can only believe in yourself." Oh Boy! I learned something that day about Michael. What a strong character he was!
I recall that on the day he passed, I had to go to work at PNB....didn't want to....but had to. My eyes were all red and I couldn't stop crying. One of the girls asked me what was wrong, and I said, "Michael Jackson died yesterday, and I don't think I can handle it." Another girl said to me..."Dianne, I hope you are not TOO upset." Too upset? What is that anyway? I just looked at her and said, "I am more upset than you can possibly imagine." Of course, they didn't know what my history with him had been, so when anyone began to talk about him, I just quietly said that it would be better NOT to talk about him to me, especially if it is negative. So they all left me alone....which is what I wanted. Just being around people that day was too much! I went home that night and decided NOT to work the next day. I needed to be alone! (And as I write this, I can feel the tears begin.)
Michael loved music SO much....more than any other musician I have ever met. He could listen for hours! This is classical music I am talking about! He adored Tchaikovsky, Debussy, Ravel, and many other composers. One of his favorite pieces of music was NUTCRACKER!!! When he told me that, I laughed so hard! Of course, he didn't know that I had played Nutcracker at Christmas time for rehearsals for the ballet...and also played in the orchestra....(for years,) and practically knew the score by heart. When I told him that, he asked me to play some of it on the piano.....he had never heard NUTCRACKER played on the piano, only orchestral recordings. So of course, I obliged.....I happened to have the score at home! (I don't think anyone else could have persuaded me to play Nutcracker at home on the piano). He was absolutely transfixed by my adaptation of the score to the piano....and wanted me to keep playing! That day I played most of it for him....can you believe it? I still laugh to myself when I think of that day! He also adored AFTERNOON OF A FAUN by Debussy....plus some other music of Debussy. He asked me to play those pieces as well. And Ravel, and Bach. Which I did, of course. So I ended up playing a great deal of music for him on that occasion. He was an excellent audience! On one of those musical days, I asked him to sing BEN for me....and I accompanied him. I shall never forget that!
Sometimes he would get a faraway look in his eyes, and I would know that a song or some piece of music was coming to him. (And at times he would wake up with a piece of music already done in his head!) One of those times, I ran to get my staff paper and pencil, and asked him to sing the melody to me....and I wrote down what he sang instantly. He would have the entire piece in his head....the instrumentation, the lead vocals, the vocal harmonies, words, percussion....everything. His ability to sing every part into a tape machine is well-known (with the rhythm in there as well)....beat boxing, it is called.....but it was very fascinating to actually hear him do this. When he recorded a song, he would sing all the harmonies to his own vocals one by one....and remember ALL the others he had just recorded. This is NOT easy. All the vocals were absolutely spot on. He had perfect pitch...(the innate knowing of the pitches of all notes). I have this ability as well......it is not so common. Many musicians do NOT have this particular talent. It is a huge asset in performing, and is very helpful in taking musical dictation. I have to say here that he was like a water tap....when the tap was turned on, music just poured out. Every day I learned something new about him.
When I watch performances of Michael's now, and hear how many speak about him, I am once again reminded of his actual being. I always had a slight problem reconciling the REAL person with the huge star and performer that he was. In fact, I almost never thought about how famous he was during our relationship. It just didn't come up. [That is how it is with anyone whom you know personally, and who happens to be a world renowned artist. George Balanchine comes to mind...who was the Director and Chief Choreographer for the New York City Ballet (and my 'boss.'), Jerry (Jerome) Robbins one of the world's foremost choreographers...and creator of West Side Story, Rudolph (Rudi) Nureyev... who was the most famous ballet dancer of our time, etc. They all worked hard at their craft, as did I...and we all worked together.] It was the same with Mike...he worked extremely hard at his craft...and often recorded a song 20 + times to get it 'right.' He also would 'run through' his shows (on non-performance days) at least twice. He would do all his numbers 'full-out'...and expected the others to do the same. Michael didn't act like a big star in these instances....he behaved as if he had not yet reached that pinnacle! He believed in rehearsing, that was for sure....he knew that repetition was the key to a perfect or near-perfect performance. (That was how he was raised...he learned all this as a child. Work, work, work!!!) When dancers I know complain of constant rehearsals, I want to tell them about Michael...no one ever worked harder than he did. He wasn't conscious of the effect he had on people, in fact he was quite shy. I believe he appreciated that I didn't fall to the floor in a dead faint, whenever I was around him! When I read what people, especially women write about him, I laugh to myself. It seems so silly to be ga-ga over anybody...star or not...that is my feeling anyway. Michael was a man....a real one, with bona fide feelings and issues. He was not perfect, but was nearer to perfection than most.
He had a fabulous sense of humor, and laughed easily, sometimes with a wicked cackle. (That always made me laugh!) Sometimes he could be very silly, but it was always fun! And he loved to tease....I recall the time when he chased me around with a spider (quite a large one) in a little box. (He, of course, was not afraid of any insect, snake, or animal). I screamed and tried to get away, but he caught me...(he was faster), and put the spider on my hand. Ugh!!! I didn't like that much, but he thought it was hysterically funny! (My own brother used to do that to me...I detested spiders.)
Michael was always drawn to spiritual issues and wrote a great deal about such matters. His book, DANCING THE DREAM is a case in point. I have been reading that book again, and marvel at how his words could clarify and elucidate. I am including a short poem here:
BREAKING FREE
All t1his hysteria, all this commotion
Time, space, energy are just a notion
What we have conceptualized we have created
All those loved, all those hated.
Where is the beginning, where's the end
Time's arrow, so difficult to bend
Those broken promises, what they meant
Those love letters, never sent.
He wrote a great deal about the planet....and composed the song: EARTH SONG.....begging people to be mindful of the damage before it is too late. (This was one of his last performances (DR) in the Staples Center near the end of his life.) He spoke to the entire cast....saying that "we had 4 years to get it right before it is too late." That was in 2009....and now it is nearly 5 years later.....is it too late? Considering the past winter in all parts of the world, I wonder. Michael was a visionary....and he could see what most could NOT. He also wrote, "we've been treating Mother Earth the way some people treat a rental apartment. Just trash it and move on." AND "we have to heal our wounded world. The chaos, despair, and senseless destruction we see today are a result of the alienation that people feel from each other and their environment. Often this alienation has its roots in an emotionally deprived childhood. Children have had their childhood stolen from them. A child's mind needs the nourishment of mystery, magic, wonder, and excitement. I want my work to help people rediscover the the child that's hiding in them."
He also wrote about God, Love, Ecstasy, Trust, Magic. "My idea of magic doesn't have much to do with stage tricks and illusions. The whole world abounds in magic...." And he wrote about Animals (there is an especially lovely story about a baby seal), Elephants (he loved elephants), Heaven, Angels, Stars, Music and Dance.
HOW I MAKE MUSIC
"People ask me how I make music. I tell them I just step into it. It's like stepping into a river and joining the flow. Every moment in the river has its song. So I stay in the moment and listen. What I hear is never the same. A walk through the woods brings a light, crackling song: Leaves rustle in the wind, birds chatter, and squirrels scold, twigs crunch underfoot, and the beat of my heart holds it all together. When you join the flow, the music is inside and outside, and both are the same. As long as I can listen to the moment, I'll always have music."
I am very sure that wherever he is now, he has music....and is no doubt composing. While writing this, I am listening to the latest CD release.....XSCAPE, which is wonderful. And I watched the documentary of L.A. Reid, Rodney Jerkins, and the others who worked on this CD. (Rodney said he had dreamed that he would work with Michael, before he met him. And that came true). He told Michael....and MJ said..."dreams almost always come true." The day before he passed, I dreamed of it. That was NOT a nice dream....and it came true. I feel very close to him...and not a day goes by when I don't think about him. His humanitarian instincts AND actions seemed to know no bounds. That generous and lovely man was like NO other, and I miss him dreadfully. When someone says anything negative about him, I really have to restrain myself. I think the look on my face is enough to stop further remarks....scowling seems to work! It is gratifying that this new CD has been released. Michael would have wanted that....he was anxious for his work to be heard...and preserved, and he was so prolific. (like a water tap, as I said before). He wrote many, many songs for each of his albums so there would be a large choice....and only a fraction of them were used, for whatever reason. I do know that he was headed in a classical direction....(with a beat)....and he wanted to study music in a more formal way....learning music theory, formalization of composition, anatomy of music, which composers did what and why, etc. I could have helped him with all of that. (Not that he needed it...but he wanted to KNOW.) I wanted him to compose some music for me to play on the piano, in a concert. Although he hadn't gotten around to it, I knew that something was germinating in his brain, because when I asked him about it on the phone, he just laughed and said..."all in good time, girl, all in good time." Well, it is about time now....I do think! Maybe something will come drifting down! One never knows!!!
Really, really
How will I ever know the answer
To that question....
Inside my mind
Within my heart
There exists no
'Cease'
No grasping the concept of
'I am done.'
And yet
If God breathes this word,
'STOP'
On me
I will accept this from Him
I will be content in Him
I will be finished.
But.....considering my history
Taking into account my motivation
Understanding the power of my inspiration
I would expect that
You would never be finished
Receiving
Because I will never be finished
Creating
Only time will tell
Only God's time will tell.
(An excerpt from the full poem....written by
Michael Jackson. (c) 5/10/10 Rosalynn Smith)
Ros gave me this excerpt a few years ago when she learned of my friendship with Michael. I am including it here as well as another poem she recently received from him, and posted on Facebook. For those who are fans of Michael's, see below:
NO MATTER WHEN I AM AWAKE
Nor even when I cannot sleep,
I am never alone.
Desolate though my mind may feel,
My heart knows knows nothing of that care.
In my every moment
I am connected with
Others also not asleep
Others in whom
My essence is immersed
My needs attended to
Others who
Even not knowing their names
Even not seeing their faces -
Though their faces are in my mind's eye
Though their names are written on my heart -
Others whom I love unconditionally
Who love me equally
First and also in return.
I am blanketed in this affection.
For I am not a citizen of some place
I am a child of the world.
In sleeplessness
I turn to them -
My companions
Whom neither distance nor unawareness
Can separate from me -
I seek them out
In delight and in sorrow
In delight and in fear
In wonder and in doubt
They never fail me -
Never have
Never will -
And this
I pray they know.
Across eons and light years of time
Through burdens inconceivable to bear
Midst bliss indestructible -
In this earthbound reality
They are my only constant
Not even heaven deigns to intervene
For we transcended
Familiar conventions
We transcend, still
In our now,
For some while, separate
Realms.
Celebrations rise up for us,
There and here
Because
We bring delight and comfort
We offer comfort and hope
Our voices sing of opportunity
Our bodies move
In the dance of possibility
We confirm love
Beyond ourselves.
Unremarkable as we should be
We are, instead, exquisitely unique.
Through all the years there was of me,
This never changed
Except, perhaps, to grow
In number
In strength
In sincerity
You never changed
Towards me.
And I,
Therefore
Never knew the pain
Your absence would have been.
You are incomparable gifts
To my heart
To my life
To the fullness of my purpose.
This is the definition of
You for me:
Blessing given
Hope fulfilled
Joy eternal
Love requited.
Sleep now
Sweet angels there below
In peace we meet
In purpose revel
No matter that I wake or sleep
I know your constant presence
So I am not,
Not ever....
Alone.
Rosalynn Smith (c)2014
Michael's beautiful writing ability was not known to many.....except, of course, as it applied to his song lyrics. Somehow it just did not occur to people that his prose or poetry was from the same well as his lyrics! When I would tell anyone how wonderful his writing was, they were always surprised. Why? He was, in fact, a multi-gifted, multi-faceted individual who was a total Renaissance Man, as it were. Of course, those who worked with him realized he could sing, dance, write music, create shows, act, and etc. He also could paint and draw very well (many of his paintings were discovered after his death in a huge storage facility...at an airport which wasn't used much. He was also very athletic....and had he chosen to do so, could have been an ace runner, tennis pro, etc. He could DO just about everything, including cook! I cannot speak for others, only myself. From the onset I was very impressed by his abilities in music and dance; and although I have considerable ability in the field of music (being a professional musician and performer), I was stunned by how much he knew about music....and he was never FORMALLY schooled! He had a phenomenal ear and could hear the smallest errors on stage, WHILE performing himself. He really blew me away! I have worked with dancers all my life (as piano soloist with the NEW YORK CITY BALLET, PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET (in Seattle), and THE ZURICH COMPANY in Switzerland....so am very conversant with dance, particularly classical ballet and the Balanchine repertoire. I ALWAYS knew exactly how steps were connected to the music, and this particular ability led to my work with George Balanchine, Jerome Robbins, Rudi (Rudolph) Nureyev, etc. And my ability to sightread music easily was a handy little tool! I never thought much about it....it was easy for me, so I took it for granted. I remember remarking to Michael how his ability to pick up choreography at the drop of a hat, fascinated me. He looked at me in surprise, saying "well, Dianne, it is just how you can look at a piece of music and instantly play it! That really blows my mind!" Of course, he did not have a real appreciation of how quickly he did learn dance steps.....(I really wish he could have worked with a choreographer like Jerry Robbins, for example, whose works he could have danced wonderfully, I am sure. He hadn't trained to be a ballet dancer, and did not want to have the muscular thighs that most male dancers acquire via their training). No. Michael wanted the long lean look, so he trained for that type of musculature. When I watched him work, I always wondered which part of his brain he was using for dance, and which part for music. (I actually wished I could see inside that brain of his!). Because he was definitely a mixture of the two. I have to say I was totally mesmerized by him and really enjoyed spending time with him. Apparently he felt the same way about me, so we were very close for quite a while. Because he was so slender, I thought he didn't eat very much, and sometimes he didn't. But he had a very healthy appetite as well, and especially loved Thanksgiving type dinners...like chicken or turkey, mashed potatoes with gravy, veggies and salad. (KFC was also a great favorite.) Plus chocolate cake! He definitely had a sweet tooth, although he didn't overindulge in desserts. We didn't go out to dinner...that would not have worked, for obvious reasons. (In my opinion, there is such a thing as TOO much fame! He definitely had WAY too much, and it prevented him from living his life in a more normal fashion.) However, he took all that in stride, figuring it was the way things were and part of the hand he had been dealt. However, I worried about him incessantly, and cautioned him to be very careful with people. (They weren't going to be like his family, for example, or his musicians, or me). He was such a GOOD person, and would do anything for anyone, no matter who they were. This was all fine and good, but for him....it led to many problems, as everyone knows. He represented 'dollar signs' ($$$$) to many people, even some of his staff. I don't know how he was able to handle it all. But he did!! Such a brilliant person, he really had a beautiful mind. And he almost never complained. He did love performing, and the adulation of the crowd energized him. On stage he went into his own world and just 'did his thing.' It was a lot of fun to watch him from the wings...when I was there we used to go back to his hotel, order room service, and watch television!
The BAD Tour was the one in which he wanted me to be a participant and play keyboard with the other musicians (there were two other keyboard players....one of them was Greg Phillinganes, who had been with him for some time. Greg was and still is excellent.....he could play anything by ear! He wasn't a concert pianist, but that didn't matter.) The tour was slated to be very long, and I was reluctant to commit to such an extensive period of time. I had concerts scheduled, and didn't want to cancel them. He understood, but was disappointed and just a little annoyed, I think. Now when I look back, I wish I HAD gone with him. He wanted me to move into his house in Encino (Hayvenhurst, it is called) where he and his family lived....along with some exotic animals as well! I was a little apprehensive (not about the exotic animals, but being in a household with his dad), but Michael assured me that Joseph (as everyone called him) would leave me alone. That way I could rehearse with him and the other musicians, as well as practice my concert pieces. (I soon learned that when he had an idea, he visualized everything around it....all possibilities and contingencies.) He made it all sound so absolutely inviting and possible, that I really had a difficult time making a decision. His brothers had moved out by then, although the Jackson brothers were often at the house visiting. (They were all very close to their mother...none more than Michael.) His sisters LaToya and Janet still lived there....Rebbie had left the nest long ago to marry Nathaniel Brown. The house had been remodeled by Michael, and he owned the deed...and shared that with his mom so she would have something of her own. (I don't think I have ever met a man who was more devoted to his mother than Michael).
He had not yet purchased his Neverland Ranch, but it was in the works. He had big plans for that property....and drew up countless scenarios and maps. He talked constantly about it, as it was to be his 'forever' home. I could hardly wait for it to happen. He was building a zoo for all his animals, a theater (of course) which included 2 bedrooms (enclosed by glass windows) with hospital type beds for terminally ill children. Included on the property was to be a Disney-type theme park...with many wonderful rides (including a carousel...my favorite.) There was going to be a train which ran around the residential part of the property. He thought of everything....and sometimes would stop what he was doing, (working), and write something down...about that property. He brought all of his powerful imagination to bear upon the creation of this residence. The filming of "SAY SAY SAY" had been done on the property.... Paul McCartney and his wife had leased it for a brief time, and Michael was enchanted with it. When he shared his ideas with me it was like watching a magician create an illusion, because when he described something, one could actually SEE it.
At this time his skin color was still dark, although it had lightened considerably. When he performed, the perspiration on his face caused his makeup to run, and one could see the blotches on his skin. I know this really caused him misery, but he mostly tried to ignore it. Unfortunately, many didn't believe he had vitiligo (the skin disorder which causes the pigmentation of the skin to lose its color----white people, for example, become 'albinos') and thought he was trying to become 'white'. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Michael was an African American man with curly black hair who was proud of his heritage. It has always been mystifying to me why he was criticized so viciously for this....and other matters. He had no control over the color of his skin (any more than you or I do), and would have preferred (if possible) to remain a black American. It didn't matter to me WHAT color he was; he was just Michael to me. I told him that....he knew that I loved him as he was. Black, white, green, or somewhere in between!
One thing that really bothered him as a young teenager was the size of his nose. Apparently he had been teased about that as a kid. So he changed it one day....(this was before I knew him...he told me about it). He said he came home with bandages on his face, and his mother nearly fainted. Now why that should concern people is beyond me. Nearly every celebrity (as well as others) frequently have 'nose jobs.' I personally think he went a bit too far with that nose reduction business, but it WAS his nose. Why shouldn't he do what he wanted? He could certainly afford it! That was the only thing he did to his face, however. He didn't change his cheekbones, although he did have a cleft put in his chin. (He liked how that looked on Kirk Douglas!)
He could not understand the media's fascination with all those personal issues. What interested him was how someone's mind worked, what they thought, what they accomplished, etc. He was so far from being small-minded, interested in gossip, or what the tabloids offered. It bothered me so much to see what people actually wrote about him. Most of it was nonsense....fabricated lies, just to sell magazines or newspapers. I recall reading one of those terrible magazines and then throwing it on the floor! I was so irate! Michael just said....'don't worry about all that. I don't.' And then he threw the magazine away. That is how he was! It seemed to me that the press builds a person up one minute only to tear them down the next. That was what happened to him. He went from being the darling of the pop music world to being criticized for everything he did (and then some). I HATED it!!! (It was then that I remembered Mr. Balanchine telling me in the elevator in the New York State Theater not to put too much stock in any review I might get. I had just played in Alice Tully Hall and received a marvelous review. He said "if you believe the Good ones, then you have to believe the Bad. Best to believe nothing, and just do your work!" Wise man! I told Michael exactly what Mr. Balanchine had said to me...and he said the same thing..."he is right...you can only believe in yourself." Oh Boy! I learned something that day about Michael. What a strong character he was!
I recall that on the day he passed, I had to go to work at PNB....didn't want to....but had to. My eyes were all red and I couldn't stop crying. One of the girls asked me what was wrong, and I said, "Michael Jackson died yesterday, and I don't think I can handle it." Another girl said to me..."Dianne, I hope you are not TOO upset." Too upset? What is that anyway? I just looked at her and said, "I am more upset than you can possibly imagine." Of course, they didn't know what my history with him had been, so when anyone began to talk about him, I just quietly said that it would be better NOT to talk about him to me, especially if it is negative. So they all left me alone....which is what I wanted. Just being around people that day was too much! I went home that night and decided NOT to work the next day. I needed to be alone! (And as I write this, I can feel the tears begin.)
Michael loved music SO much....more than any other musician I have ever met. He could listen for hours! This is classical music I am talking about! He adored Tchaikovsky, Debussy, Ravel, and many other composers. One of his favorite pieces of music was NUTCRACKER!!! When he told me that, I laughed so hard! Of course, he didn't know that I had played Nutcracker at Christmas time for rehearsals for the ballet...and also played in the orchestra....(for years,) and practically knew the score by heart. When I told him that, he asked me to play some of it on the piano.....he had never heard NUTCRACKER played on the piano, only orchestral recordings. So of course, I obliged.....I happened to have the score at home! (I don't think anyone else could have persuaded me to play Nutcracker at home on the piano). He was absolutely transfixed by my adaptation of the score to the piano....and wanted me to keep playing! That day I played most of it for him....can you believe it? I still laugh to myself when I think of that day! He also adored AFTERNOON OF A FAUN by Debussy....plus some other music of Debussy. He asked me to play those pieces as well. And Ravel, and Bach. Which I did, of course. So I ended up playing a great deal of music for him on that occasion. He was an excellent audience! On one of those musical days, I asked him to sing BEN for me....and I accompanied him. I shall never forget that!
Sometimes he would get a faraway look in his eyes, and I would know that a song or some piece of music was coming to him. (And at times he would wake up with a piece of music already done in his head!) One of those times, I ran to get my staff paper and pencil, and asked him to sing the melody to me....and I wrote down what he sang instantly. He would have the entire piece in his head....the instrumentation, the lead vocals, the vocal harmonies, words, percussion....everything. His ability to sing every part into a tape machine is well-known (with the rhythm in there as well)....beat boxing, it is called.....but it was very fascinating to actually hear him do this. When he recorded a song, he would sing all the harmonies to his own vocals one by one....and remember ALL the others he had just recorded. This is NOT easy. All the vocals were absolutely spot on. He had perfect pitch...(the innate knowing of the pitches of all notes). I have this ability as well......it is not so common. Many musicians do NOT have this particular talent. It is a huge asset in performing, and is very helpful in taking musical dictation. I have to say here that he was like a water tap....when the tap was turned on, music just poured out. Every day I learned something new about him.
When I watch performances of Michael's now, and hear how many speak about him, I am once again reminded of his actual being. I always had a slight problem reconciling the REAL person with the huge star and performer that he was. In fact, I almost never thought about how famous he was during our relationship. It just didn't come up. [That is how it is with anyone whom you know personally, and who happens to be a world renowned artist. George Balanchine comes to mind...who was the Director and Chief Choreographer for the New York City Ballet (and my 'boss.'), Jerry (Jerome) Robbins one of the world's foremost choreographers...and creator of West Side Story, Rudolph (Rudi) Nureyev... who was the most famous ballet dancer of our time, etc. They all worked hard at their craft, as did I...and we all worked together.] It was the same with Mike...he worked extremely hard at his craft...and often recorded a song 20 + times to get it 'right.' He also would 'run through' his shows (on non-performance days) at least twice. He would do all his numbers 'full-out'...and expected the others to do the same. Michael didn't act like a big star in these instances....he behaved as if he had not yet reached that pinnacle! He believed in rehearsing, that was for sure....he knew that repetition was the key to a perfect or near-perfect performance. (That was how he was raised...he learned all this as a child. Work, work, work!!!) When dancers I know complain of constant rehearsals, I want to tell them about Michael...no one ever worked harder than he did. He wasn't conscious of the effect he had on people, in fact he was quite shy. I believe he appreciated that I didn't fall to the floor in a dead faint, whenever I was around him! When I read what people, especially women write about him, I laugh to myself. It seems so silly to be ga-ga over anybody...star or not...that is my feeling anyway. Michael was a man....a real one, with bona fide feelings and issues. He was not perfect, but was nearer to perfection than most.
He had a fabulous sense of humor, and laughed easily, sometimes with a wicked cackle. (That always made me laugh!) Sometimes he could be very silly, but it was always fun! And he loved to tease....I recall the time when he chased me around with a spider (quite a large one) in a little box. (He, of course, was not afraid of any insect, snake, or animal). I screamed and tried to get away, but he caught me...(he was faster), and put the spider on my hand. Ugh!!! I didn't like that much, but he thought it was hysterically funny! (My own brother used to do that to me...I detested spiders.)
Michael was always drawn to spiritual issues and wrote a great deal about such matters. His book, DANCING THE DREAM is a case in point. I have been reading that book again, and marvel at how his words could clarify and elucidate. I am including a short poem here:
BREAKING FREE
All t1his hysteria, all this commotion
Time, space, energy are just a notion
What we have conceptualized we have created
All those loved, all those hated.
Where is the beginning, where's the end
Time's arrow, so difficult to bend
Those broken promises, what they meant
Those love letters, never sent.
He wrote a great deal about the planet....and composed the song: EARTH SONG.....begging people to be mindful of the damage before it is too late. (This was one of his last performances (DR) in the Staples Center near the end of his life.) He spoke to the entire cast....saying that "we had 4 years to get it right before it is too late." That was in 2009....and now it is nearly 5 years later.....is it too late? Considering the past winter in all parts of the world, I wonder. Michael was a visionary....and he could see what most could NOT. He also wrote, "we've been treating Mother Earth the way some people treat a rental apartment. Just trash it and move on." AND "we have to heal our wounded world. The chaos, despair, and senseless destruction we see today are a result of the alienation that people feel from each other and their environment. Often this alienation has its roots in an emotionally deprived childhood. Children have had their childhood stolen from them. A child's mind needs the nourishment of mystery, magic, wonder, and excitement. I want my work to help people rediscover the the child that's hiding in them."
He also wrote about God, Love, Ecstasy, Trust, Magic. "My idea of magic doesn't have much to do with stage tricks and illusions. The whole world abounds in magic...." And he wrote about Animals (there is an especially lovely story about a baby seal), Elephants (he loved elephants), Heaven, Angels, Stars, Music and Dance.
HOW I MAKE MUSIC
"People ask me how I make music. I tell them I just step into it. It's like stepping into a river and joining the flow. Every moment in the river has its song. So I stay in the moment and listen. What I hear is never the same. A walk through the woods brings a light, crackling song: Leaves rustle in the wind, birds chatter, and squirrels scold, twigs crunch underfoot, and the beat of my heart holds it all together. When you join the flow, the music is inside and outside, and both are the same. As long as I can listen to the moment, I'll always have music."
I am very sure that wherever he is now, he has music....and is no doubt composing. While writing this, I am listening to the latest CD release.....XSCAPE, which is wonderful. And I watched the documentary of L.A. Reid, Rodney Jerkins, and the others who worked on this CD. (Rodney said he had dreamed that he would work with Michael, before he met him. And that came true). He told Michael....and MJ said..."dreams almost always come true." The day before he passed, I dreamed of it. That was NOT a nice dream....and it came true. I feel very close to him...and not a day goes by when I don't think about him. His humanitarian instincts AND actions seemed to know no bounds. That generous and lovely man was like NO other, and I miss him dreadfully. When someone says anything negative about him, I really have to restrain myself. I think the look on my face is enough to stop further remarks....scowling seems to work! It is gratifying that this new CD has been released. Michael would have wanted that....he was anxious for his work to be heard...and preserved, and he was so prolific. (like a water tap, as I said before). He wrote many, many songs for each of his albums so there would be a large choice....and only a fraction of them were used, for whatever reason. I do know that he was headed in a classical direction....(with a beat)....and he wanted to study music in a more formal way....learning music theory, formalization of composition, anatomy of music, which composers did what and why, etc. I could have helped him with all of that. (Not that he needed it...but he wanted to KNOW.) I wanted him to compose some music for me to play on the piano, in a concert. Although he hadn't gotten around to it, I knew that something was germinating in his brain, because when I asked him about it on the phone, he just laughed and said..."all in good time, girl, all in good time." Well, it is about time now....I do think! Maybe something will come drifting down! One never knows!!!
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