This entry will be a departure (once again) from the Narrative of my life story...to tell the story of my past two years...since my retirement from PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET. That happened in the spring of 2010, and what followed was a huge surprise to me.
I was quite happy to retire from my work at PNB, and although I love music very much, as well as ballet, the work had begun to affect my general health. No longer was I thrilled to get up in the morning and go to the theater or the Phelps Center...playing the piano had begun to be physically painful, especially as the hours necessary to keep up one's standard of playing, and rehearse the ballet at the same time were taking their toll. So the day I actually told Peter Boal that perhaps I should stop, he was not surprised...I had already started working half time, instead of full time. And the day I actually did stop and walk out of PNB for the last time as an employee there, I was actually very joyful. Peter told me later that he had never seen anyone so happy to stop working. I was very enthusiastic about the future, and what I would be able to accomplish. Little did I realize what was in store for me.
The first few months I did not practice much...as I have practiced all my life, and decided that I had earned a vacation from the piano. (It isn't necessary to state exactly HOW many years I have practiced and studied...but you can probably guess.) I was looking forward to experiencing Christmas without NUTCRACKER rehearsals and performances. I also had decided to start a blog of my life...including all my experiences with the great artists of the world. There have been so many....my teacher (for one) Sari BIRO, George BALANCHINE (Artistic Director of the New York City Ballet for whom I worked for many years), Jerome ROBBINS (Assistant Director of the NYCB, and choreographer for many well known shows and ballets, including West Side Story, On the Town, etc.), Leonard BERNSTEIN (conductor/composer with whom I worked on a collaboration between him and Jerry Robbins), Rudolph NUREYEV (with whom I worked in Zurich on ballets of his), Mischa BARYSHNIKOV (with whom I worked in NYC and Geneva, Switzerland). While in NYC, I also played for some performances of Margot FONTEYN (who was a world famous British ballerina, from the ROYAL BALLET.
And many more. Here in Seattle, I worked with Kent STOWELL, and Francia RUSSELL for almost 25 years...they were co-directors of Pacific Northwest Ballet....and Kent created the world renowned NUTCRACKER BALLET ....based on Maurice SENDAK'S illustrations and models. (I also worked and became acquainted with him). Then there was my dear friend, Michael JACKSON, who had invited me to go on his first World Tour (the BAD TOUR)...he was definitely one of the most talented, gifted and kind individuals I have ever known...I still mourn his passing...can't quite believe it. (He was larger than life to me).
These are a few of the wonderful people whom I have known and worked. This business of music and dance is a most wonderful environment....almost always interesting and fun as well.
After I started writing my blog....10 chapters....including a chapter devoted to Michael, I began to have more problems walking, and generally getting around. Since I had no clue what was going on with me, I decided to have food delivered ...either by Safeway or Schwann. It was getting more and more difficult to go up and down the 5 steps leading to my unit in the condo building. After a few weeks of this, Emebet Seifu, who worked for me sometimes in my flat, suggested I see her doctor...who would come to my home. (Previously I had declined to go to ANY doctor, as I felt that most were not as knowledgeable as they should be.) Then I fell down in my flat, and had difficulty getting up. This happened about twice before Emebet took action. She brought the doctor to my flat! (She is not one to stand on ceremony). In the meantime my dear little kitty, Missy, had passed away....and I was very sad about that. It was very sudden, she just stopped walking and laid down on the floor. I brought her food and water...but she did not recover...in fact she died that night, trying to utter a little 'meow.' I called my brother the next day to tell him (Missy was originally his cat, whom he had brought to me, before his 3rd visit to Columbia...he didn't want to leave her alone again.) He asked me where I was going to have her buried....and I asked Emebet to bury her at her homestead...which she and Solomon did.
TO CONTINUE: I fell once again in the kitchen....flat on my back, but I didn't break any bones, thank goodness. I crawled to a phone, and called Emebet who came over....she called an ambulance and they came and transported me to Swedish (Ballard) Emergency. After a battery of tests...including a CT scan, MRI, and various others, I was admitted into the hospital. But as I was not ILL....I was not allowed to stay there...and a nursing facility was contacted. That was Queen Anne Health Care Center...nearby. This particular place looked nice on the outside, but inside was a different matter. The caregivers were nice people, but the general standard was quite low, to my mind. And they have a high rating, (not sure how that happened). The food is not very good, there are not enough caregivers on the floor (particularly at night). While I was there, I was referred to a very fine neurologist by good friends, (not by the H. Care Clinic). He had studied my tests.... I had by then concluded that I must have MS (Multiple Schlerosis). He told me I did NOT have MS, but a condition, in his opinion, called HYDROCEPHALUS. This means that water collects in the brain cavities...and does not drain of its own accord. And gradually, over time, parts of one's body cease to work as they once did. That was the source of my increasing inability to walk and my poor balance. Also the soles of my feet started to lose the sensation of feeling. (This showed up in pedaling at the piano....when one pedals, the feet have to be very quick and respond to the ear...so that one's sound is refined, without blurring, etc. It is a crucial element of fine piano playing.) And when I needed to bow on stage, I had problems going upstairs to the stage...and always had to hold the arm or hand of one of the dancers, so I wouldn't fall over when I bowed!!! (Wouldn't that have been pretty!!) This doctor (from Eastern Europe) thought I needed to consult with a neurosurgeon to determine whether I should have a SHUNT installed in my head to regulate the flow of liquid that needed to be drained. He knew a woman who was one of the finest neurosurgeons on the West Coast....and called her. She agreed to see me....and decided I should have a Lumbar Puncture (spinal tap) to help her decide if this surgery would work for me. (This was beginning to sound more and more frightening, as you might imagine. ) But I had the spinal tap....and the result was that I walked much better! So that told her that this procedure would indeed be good for me. And a date for the surgery was set. Now...because of the insurance regulations, this is not as easy as 1, 2, 3, ...my Primary Care Physician (PCP)--had retired and another had taken her place. This doctor really knew very little...and I was concerned. So I began the process of changing PCP's....a huge problem in the world of Medicare and Medicare Advantage plans. I spent many hours on the phone to get that small point nailed down. The PCP is the one who has to actually make the recommendation for surgery...AND they usually know very little about Hydrocephalus, but that doesn't matter. They still have to make the recommendation. And since these doctors were specialists, it was necessary for this lady doctor (PCP) to just take their word for it. Which she did, fortunately.
So I was admitted to the hospital...this time to Swedish in Issaquah. (I chose this hospital because their facilities are excellent, having been there for tests and the lumbar puncture) plus my neurosurgeon practiced from there. The additional factor, was that the food was excellent...I had eaten lunch in their dining room...and was told that the food for the patients was of the same quality!! And there seemed to be enough nursing staff to adequately care for all the patients. (Not so at the Q. Anne H. Care Center).
My surgery was scheduled for February 14, 2012...Valentine's Day. I had many fears about this entire matter, but decided I just wouldn't think about it....and what was supposed to happen, would just happen!!! So that worked for me. I seem to be able to order my mind to focus on whatever I wish, a very great asset.
After this surgery, which turned out well (they said), I returned to the Q. Anne Nursing Home. But I didn't want to stay there....so somehow got into another place. (called KleinGallen). It was marginally better....more personnel, although the food was also not terrific. However, Emebet (bless her heart) ALWAYS brought me food prepared by herself at home. So I always ate well at these establishments, thanks to her. She also brought (upon my request) some Bailey's Irish Cream for me to drink (not a great deal, of course.) Emebet thought it would be better for me NOT to be in a nursing home, but I couldn't live by myself. Her solution was that I live at her home in Shoreline with herself and her family. (Solomon, her husband, and two children....ages 13 & 14....Mesale and Mekbeb [alias - Mickey] are all terrific people. The kids are very well-behaved (mostly), and very entertaining. Solomon is a very intelligent man, who is an activist for Ethiopia, and writes many articles for the Ethiopian newspaper. (He is very well known in the Ethiopian community). Emebet is a well-known chef and caterer...she works almost all the time, sometimes to the detriment to her health. Her cooking skills are unparalled. The birthday party she gave for me in late April, was so appreciated by the people there....many from PNB, and those of my friends who are not from PNB.
And so, on March 1, 2012 I moved into Emebet's home ...where I still reside. However, that is NOT the end of this saga. I began having more trouble with pain in the gall bladder area...and the doctor (naturopath) who is excellent, by the way, ordered an ultrasound scan for me...to determine what was going on. A huge gallstone was found...and I had no idea THAT was there. In all the years I have gone to my PCP physician, that had never been mentioned. It took quite a while for that large stone to have developed...and I wonder, what on earth these doctors know anyway. So again...back to Swedish at Issaquah. The surgeon for that happened to be the assistant surgeon in my brain surgery - because of the tubing that had to be installed with the shunt. Was that fortunate, or what??? He knew exactly where things were, and he decided that my gall bladder was too damaged to remain....so he removed it. After a few days in the hospital, I was able to return to Emebet's home. However, as luck would have it, another wrinkle developed. I had contracted colitis while in the hospital....or nursing home. And got very sick at home, and had to go BACK to the hospital yet again. This time, with a different doctor...an infectious disease doctor. The antibiotic which was prescribed for this ailment is very, very strong....and has to be mixed at the pharmacy. It does not just come in a bottle. And I had to take it for 20 days. When I again left the hospital, supposedly I was more or less ok, they nurses did not give me any of the medicine...neither Emebet nor I thought to ask them for it. So when I needed it, there was none...and the pharmacy nearest me didn't have the proper ingredients for this 'mixture.' That was a bit scary...as one is not supposed to miss any doses of the medicine. However, Emebet drove quite a distance in the rain, to another pharmacy, and managed to get the prescription filled there. She has been unbelievable. I definitely would not be alive today, were it not for her - and her incredible care.
These days I am able to get around with the walker, and I can walk without it as well. I remember the days when I could not even STAND up on my own....let alone take a step. So when I can go into a restaurant on my own two legs, and sit in a chair like a normal person, I celebrate these little victories. For me, they are milestones...and the day will come when I can once again drive my car. The first thing will be to get INTO the car and sit on the seat (without my wheel chair). Did I mention that along the way, I purchased a Complete Mobility Van, which has a ramp that allows a wheel chair access. I walk up the ramp with the walker and then sit in the wheel chair on the passenger side. (The seat has been removed). These vehicles are expensive, but it has been a lifesaver. (It is very costly to call for a cabulance to go to various doctor appointments...so actually this car has been economical as well.) I remember the first time I went to dinner with the entire family to Anthony's Home Port, and was able to look out at the water...and appreciate the sunset.
I have learned many life lessons in this latest journey....ALWAYS APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE, INCLUDING YOUR HEALTH. One never knows what will happen. But you have to be able to get up, dust yourself off, and start all over again....(as the songs lyrics say). I am grateful to get up in the morning...still alive.. look out the window at the beautiful trees around here, and WALK to the dining room...where Solomon has prepared breakfast for the kids (who leave early for school), and me, and whomever else is here. I am grateful for this wonderful family ...and their care and support..without which I would never have survived...that, I know.
